What in the what in the what now??? (OOC RP)
You head into the odd bar...
Big Bang Bar and Grille
Big Bang Bar and Grille is a very strange bar. It has a few booths and tables, but if you look around you'll notice it doesn't keep the same size. It's as though it changes with some hidden clock.
Exits: to [B]ooth [1], Exit
Contents:
Memorial
a bowl of (peanuts) sits on the bar
Xia the vixen. Sarnith the ferret. Blisa the cat.
The grill is in full swing today. Crowds of beasts, cannon and non, filter through the building grabbing the cheeseburger special and a milk shake before heading off to their collective stories. And then there is Xia.
To say that her leave from the games cannon story line has been kind to her would be...realitive to ones point of view. On the one paw, she seems to be doing good for herself, being able to afford the sheer amount of food she is stuffing down her gullet, on the other paw, the brown furred vixen has to struggle to reach said food, her gut preventing her from leaning too far to grab at her milkshakes and burgers.
The vixen sits at the bar, munching away at her meal and occasionally cycling through web comics on her smart phone.
Well, this time Sarnith has scrapped the flying ship idea, to much logistics to retro fit a boat to fly, why not instead a whole city! The ferret has this in mind as he saunters into the bar, this time it's not a crew he will need but slaves! Lots of slaves! To build the giant fan that it's going to take to launch something the size of a small town into the air, that and more slaves to run on hamster wheels to power all the fans that it's going to take to keep the fans going. See Sarnith is all about renewable energy, namely having more beasts to work for him so his energy is conserved. Which brings us back to titles, to hay with Sky Captain, now Sarnith is going to be Sky MAYOR or even better Sky Marshal! All of these thoughts come to a halt how ever as he sees a fox that is even larger than his city idea, maybe he should mount a fan on her! Getting out a measuring tape Sarnith starts trying to take measurements of the pudgy fox.
Blisa enters the bar. That doesn't really communicate how she enters. She is dressed in a black tank top, ripped black jeans, black boots, and black and silver jewelry. She shrugs on a black leather jacket. If cats had head hair like humans, hers would be short and spiked. She watches the ferret and the fox, struggling to not laugh. Nah, forget that. She goes ahead and laughs fit to burst.
The fox continues with her meal right until the measuring tape connects with her fur. Her ears straiten and she twists her head around to see the ferret measuring her for what she can only assume are nefarious deeds. Even leaning backward to scold the ferret the vixen's belly is still firmly resting against the bar in front of her, "And just WHAT do you think you are doing?"
Totally disregarding what the big fox has to say Sarnith goes right on measuring, your not supposed to talk to real estate after all, that is just plain crazy. Though after he gets the measurements he comes to the conclusion that either this fox just looks way bigger than it is or he just measured up a fox that would make a perfect fur coat for a pregnant lady. So with a slight sigh of disappointment Sarnith decides that while the fur coat would be nice this isn't big enough to run a city off of, though it would feed a lot of slaves for a long time. The punk kitten that enters totally is outside of Sarnith's perception right now, after all he is looking at real estate, the slaves will be later.
Blisa walks over and goes to tap the ferret's arm. "What in the what are you doing to that fox, dude?" A chirruping sound comes from her jacket pocket, but she ignores it for now.
"I can ask the same thing..." The fox swivels around on her stool, crossing her arms across her chest. Even though she has officially left the muck the vixen still wears the clothing fitting for a beast in the Redwall universe. That is cloth wraps around her chest and an open green vest. And a long flowing sash that hangs down between her legs and trouser covered legs. Her belly, for reasons mostly due to her girth, is left open and exposed. "Can I 'help' you?" She says through gritted teeth.
Addressing Blisa first Sarnith says " Was looking over the real estate, gonna need a prime piece of that once I get my flying city off the ground, though... " gets closer to whisper in Blisa's ear "That one isn't so big as it looks, not enough acreage, though it does look like plenty. " Sarnith steps back and the it's Xia's turn " You mam need to have your agent put up a warning sign stating that your acreage is not as bountiful as it looks, you are devoid of even a full one when I thought possibly at least three or four might be hiding in there! Any how I would like to speak to your real estate agent to work on setting up a possible meeting though, you do look like you have enough there to feed a few beasts for a long time! Of course if you don't find this too irregular, it's not that often that I do by pass agents and speak directly with the real estate after all."
What in the what in the what now??? Blisa makes her fingers into a cross and takes a few steps backwards from the apparently crazy ferret. "Get back! Back! Back to the Dark Forest, you crazy coot!" She clambers up onto a stool then vaults over the counter.
The vixen's brown fur has turned unusually red, especially around her cheeks. Stepping off the stool Xia growls, "I'm...I'm getting ready for a part in another story off the server!" She says as if she is obligated to give the ferret an excuse, "I'm playing a fat spy! ...honest!" Reaching behind her the fox produces her trusty halberd, a long pole weapon with a curved blade. One can only imagine what hyperdimensional pocket she was keeping THAT thing in. "And sure...my agent can speak to your lawyer after I feed you yer own tail!"
Oh pish and tush! In the OOC area Sarnith is a 20th level wizard and won't have tuck with that swinging things around thing! He did enough of that in the IC area after all! So with the premonition that something bad is obviously on the fox's mind Sarnith casts a shield spell on himself followed by replying "Well, I will say that is uncalled for behavior for a building zone! Besides, I like that thing where it is, it sweeps narrow strips of the floor for me! It's the only way that the floor gets cleaned after all! " to Xia. Giving Blisa a bit of his attention Sarnith continues in his perfectly logical assessment of things. "Dark forest? Marm I will have you know that I don't believe in that! Reincarnation is the fad these days after all! Besides, we don't have any coots in this area I'm afraid, they are much more solitary creatures! "
Unfortunately for the ferret, the OOC realm allows IRL things and crossovers to be here, too, so with her magical Taser of Pain and lightning-fast reflexes (she is a cat, after all), Blisa goes to electrocute the stinky and crazy ferret guy. "I HOPE YOU SUFFER! May you come back as a tapeworm!"
"Did...did you just call my halberd a mop?" the fat vixen says as she tries to ponder what he just said. She raises her weapon high to bash him upside the head when the cat makes a sudden attack on the ferret instead, "What in the blazes!" She cries out, pausing in mid attack with her halberd. To make matters worse she is blinded by the special effects of the shield spell. "GAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY eyes! WHYYYYYyYYyYYYyY!"
Well, seeing as Sarnith has made 20th level wizard that means that he has a dex score of 18 and so a +4 to his reflex save! So combined with the ferret feat all he has to do is roll above a 6 and he can dodge the attack with no real problem. Of course a reflect spell would also be just as simple, but who doesn't like to show off? Anyhow after the ferret pulls his magical dodging maneuvers he continues to throw words of wisdom at Blisa "Now that marm was uncalled for! I swear the beasts around here really do need a lesson in manners, swinging things around and throwing lightning about, have you ever asked the things that your about to try and smash over someone's head if that is what they want to have done with them? I know if I was a lightning blot I would just be happy with going up and down and making loud noises, getting thrown at people just ends up leaving a very nasty smelly mess after all! I mean really you all need to have some consideration! Just look at the real estate, you could have damaged it after all! It also looks like you could have blinded it, that was really very unkind! "
Blisa is twitching like she's about to explode in a furry ball of rage. "You! Freaking...! You're insane, you crazy ball of stinky ferret--" the Taser interrupts and says in a very high-pitched, squeaky voice, "I like hurting people! I'm a certified sociopath! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The fattened fox shakes her head clear, "Bleedin heck! Really? Realistate? Did you really just call me...of all the...GRAAAAAAAAAAA!" The vixen says, rather shouts a war cry and charges forward. The ferret may be a level 20 wizard, but she is a level 20 warrior! Well, she was. All the pie and cake over the years has eroded her experience and body stats to level 16...last time she checked. Regardless, she rolls a fancy 20 sided dice to see if she can stab the ferret in the face.
Why is everyone in this place so blood thirsty? I mean really! Without any armor an 18 dex with a shield spell Sarnith has an ac of 18 so that puny attack is so far off that it might be able to be seen in the next town some place, real estate isn't exactly small after all. " Savages! Savages all of you! Why are all of you so determined to impede a ferret from going about building his own flying city state? Are all of you just that small minded and unhappy at someone else having a larger idea? FIE on all of you says I! Instead of trying to find and work for what I want I shall simply create or take what I want! So in those terms, sorry real estate, I suppose I shall have to let you go, you're far too violent and small for what I need, even with your large proportions. You miss kitten need to go ahead and muzzle your self and your tazer! Both of you need to seek serious mental help! "
Okay! That does it! Blisa leaps over the counter, hands the Taser to the ferret (she didn't know it could talk. Creeeee-pea!) She bolts out the door, screaming at those who are trying to come in, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!" And she's gone. Bye-bye.
Thanks for reading!
Groups:
