Super Awesome Redwall Parody
You step into the OOC realm.
You head into the odd bar...
Big Bang Bar and Grille
Big Bang Bar and Grille is a very strange bar. It has a few booths and tables, but if you look around you'll notice it doesn't keep the same size. It's as though it changes with some hidden clock.
Exits: to [B]ooth [1], Exit
Contents:
Memorial
a bowl of (peanuts) sits on the bar
Benar is sat in one of the booths watching the empty void outside through the shimmering crystal dome over head. The grey squirrel relaxing with a large milkshake. He's wearing sandals, board-shorts and a rather bright hawaiin shirt just waiting for his guests to arrive.
Ragg drives up outside the bar in his jet black truck. After parking it he steps out to the sound of epic music and walks toward the bar. He is wearing his suit and tie and really dark sun glasses.
DoraRose comes rolling up on her hot pink bicycle. She brakes a little too suddenly and almost topples over the handlebars, but not quite, so she just gets a reckless grin. Resting it against the wall, she takes off her leopard-print-with-hot pink-trim helmet and lays it in the woven basket. She grabs a denim jacket and enters the bar. She is wearing a hot pink sports shirt with super-short sleeves, dark blue denim jeans and black jogging shoes with leopard-print laces. Her jewelry includes a choker made out of chain with a heart locket hanging from it, aproxamatly 10 metal bracelets, and pink heart-shaped stud earings. Putting on her jacket, she displays for all to see a patch that says "I bike" with a mouse on a bicycle under the words.
Benar sits up when he sees the two others enter and waves a paw at them, "Dora, Ragg! Good day, you made it excellent!" The squirrel sets his ipad down and grins softly, "It's great to see the pair of you how was the journey over?"
Ragg dares to take a peek inside before entering. Upon seeing the two occupants of the bar he quickly lifts the collar of his suit coat and mutters into a small hidden microphone, than smoothes the collar out as he gives Benar a huge grin "My trip was great! How about yours?" He eyes DoraRose "Wow..." Is all he says as her hot pink strikes him. Its a good thing he is wearing sunglasses.
DoraRose smiles brightly at Benar. "It was great -- although I got turned around at the portals. And some former zombies tried to get me. I think they're prejudiced against bikes." She flashes Ragg a slightly wicked grin. "How you doin'?"
Benar chuckles "Oh that's why I travel by airship! Redwall's Finest Zeppelin carried me here in style! Now try one of the milkshakes and sit down the pair of you. It is good to see you."
Ragg looks away from DoraRose, not wanting to get blinded by pinkness that is starting to seep through his sunglasses "I-I'm doing fine. Y-you?" Is that a stutter he has acquired? He goes over to Benar, maybe a bit too quickly in his want to get away from DoraRose and her pinkness, and sits down across from Him. "I always t-thought airship was too much m-money." He gulps nervously "M-milkshake? I-Ill t-try one." He quickly orders a milkshake and starts to chug it.
DoraRose frowns and snorts. "Airships are /so/ not eco-friendly." she moves over to the bar -- but, luckily for Ragg, Benar is between the 2 of them, and her pink shoulder is covered up by the medium-blue denim of her jacket. She orders a milkshake, sips it -- and immediatly gets brain freeze.
Benar grins at Dora, "Oh my no, not at all, the latest airships coming off the docks are vaccuum filled envelope powered by solar powered generator and propulsion systems!" he smiles, ears twitching, "They are the latest in high tech gadgets."
Ragg is still chugging his milkshake and as DoraRose sits down he takes a sharp breath of relief that it's not beside him and starts to choke on his milkshake! It starts to come out his nose and it spills all over his black suit. He is coughing so much that he ends up on the floor rolling about, still hacking and wheezing and getting himself rather dirty. His light green phone falls out of his pocket as well as his car keys.
3 tears leak out of DoraRose's eyes as the brain freeze gets really /really/ painful, then it starts to fade. She turns to look at Ragg -- then whacks Benar on the arm. "Oh, man, is he OK? Dude, he looks like he's dieing! You OK?" to Ragg. "Wave your tail if your OK." Like he can do that if he's choking.
Benar stares at Ragg and leans over to slap him on the back a couple of time, "How on earth... did you manage... mffff that." The squirrel is trying not to laugh but he can't help but hold up his Ipad and it goes click whirrrrr as he snaps a shot of Ragg then gets back to slapping his back.
Ragg is not quite dying, but he most currently can't wave his tail. The whacks on the back help some, but he is still coughing as he crawls back to his chair. He pulls himself up into it and glares at Benar "While cough- I was rolling around wheeze- down there, I thought I heard hack- something that sounded suspiciously like a camera..." he pulls down his glasses so he is looking over the top of them at Benar with an accusing stare. He takes a quick glance at DoraRose "Did you see anything that looked like a -cough- camera?"
DoraRose comes *this* close to smiling, but quickly wipes it off and replaces it with an innocent and baffled look. "A camera?" she turns back to the bar and sips her milkshake, silently debating whether to 'betray' Benar. She takes a spoon and eats some of her cold drink that is slowly melting. She appears to be in deep thought.
Benar grin at Dora and shakes his head "Camera? I don't see a Camera." he helps Ragg into his chair and smiles, "You were choking Ragg! None of us would take humouress pictures of you and post them on Twitter or anything would we Dora?"
Ragg gives DoraRose another slightly nervous glance and says sarcastically "Yes. A camera. You know the thing you take pictures with." He glares at Benar "Sure you wouldn't...I'll have you know I'm the top age-"he cuts himself off before he gives away his secret identity as the top FBI agent! He gives Benar one more glare before reaching down and picking up his keys and phone. He would /check/ twitter to see how truthful Benar is being.
DoraRose is now grinning /very/ wickedly. "I wouldn't do that, Benar, 'cause I'm not on Twitter -- But you are, and, what's more, you did." Oh, great! She's gotten it into her head to start a barfight. Wonderful. Just /perfect/.
Benar grins softly at Dora and shakes his head, "Not me," he turns the tablet around to Ragg and lets him see the lovely picture of a Milkshake. "I might have taken a picture of a milkshake while slapping you on the back to help." His grin is huge, the squirrel's thick tail dancing from side to side.
Rage boils up in Raggs usually happy eyes as he yells at Benar and he stands from his chair and points an accusing finger "I knew it! I knew you couldn't be trusted!..." than he sees Benars picture and his anger is turned to confusion. He sits back down in his chair with a perplexed look on his face and murmurs to Benar "Ummm...sorry, I guess..." He puts his sunglasses on right as he looks over at DoraRose with an almost hurt look on his face "Did you just...lie?" He is really accusing the wrong beast.
DoraRose stands up, blue eyes flashing. "No, I did not!" she glares at the ferret and is about to say more, but then, from her jeans pocket come the sound of a vibrating phone and the chorus from 'Kung Fu Fighting'. Digging out a smartphone in a hot pink cover (of course), she looks at her latest text and exclaims, "Really!" Looking at the 2 malebeasts, she says, "Hey, listen, I'd love to stay, but I gotta go. Later." she grabs her milkshake, pays for it, then leaves. When outside, she dons her helmet, sticks the milkshake in the cupholder, and bikes off, ringing the bell as she goes. She is soon out of sight.
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