Harbin and the Frying Pan of Doom

Harbin and the Frying Pan of Doom

Starring:

- Harbin, an middle-aged travelling hare

- Ava, a Long Patrol healer

- Two Rascally Vermin Courtesy of Dylan Locke

"Traveling is for the young," the old hare grumbles to himself as his feet shuffle methodically through the sand, his wrapped paws latched tight to the drag-poles of the cart behind him. A rickety affair on two wheels only, their thin tracks sinking annoyingly into the dunes, the mid-age buck gives it a sharp tug every few steps to pull it back to the surface in a small cloud of scattered silica. Over the top, a thin wisp of canvas stretches, shielding his cargo from the sun, its soft jingle suggestive and scintillating. Finally he lets up on the handles, and the unbalanced contraption tips immediately back while fumbling fingers adjust his hat and wipe the sweat from his brow, peering off towards that shack in the distance before taking a swig of water from the gourd at his belt. "Might be some shelter there," he murmurs to himself, paws falling to his hips while he thinks the situation over.

Little does the old hare know that he wasn't the only one to stop by the shack this day.

It was humble little structure filled with holes its rotten walls. It made a convenient place for beasts to meet though away from the prying eyes of the city and it wasn't quite as barbaric as a cave.

Currently it was occupied by two beasts, a crate full of stolen valuables and several empty bottles of ale. Both beasts were in good spirits, or rather good spirits were in them.

The lizard was an odd mix of colors. Green with yellow stripes. His pair of ratty trousers were held up by a simple rope belt with a knife slung into it. He sat on an empty crate trying to evaluate the price of their loot through the fog of a ale clouded mind and the noise of his companions as she noisily ate away at the remains of a wood pigeon.

Crossfang was a marbled fox both in appearance and health. A mostly white furred beast with an almost raccoon mask across her eyes. She wore cloth wraps bout her chest and a pair of trousers about her waist, leaving her midriff bare for better or for worse, leaning towards worse. She was sprawled out across the sandy floor of the shack.

Both creatures are more than unaware they are about to have visitors....

Heading out along the shore is Ava, who is dressed in a short white dress that hits about the knees, along with her bow and quill over her shoulder. She has decided to take a peek at the old shack on the beach as part of her journey back to the mountain, just to see if there was anyone nearby that she can drop off some lunch to that she has in a small bag she carries. Spying the older beast in the distance, she calls out, "Afternoon, sir!" She flips a paw upwards to wave in his direction.

From the great stretch of sand between him, Ava, and the shack, the grizzled hare with the cart catches the gist of the greeting if not the actual words, as the wind has a habit of rounding the edges right off of sounds out here, and his hearing isn't what it used to be in the first place. The upward paw helps, and he raises his own, cautiously, in greeting, standing protectively between the doe and shack, and his cart. Loose, sweat-soaked attire drapes his travel-lean frame lightly, and the knife at his belt is hardly imposing. His paws thump down on the handles again, shoving the cart back to a level standing and jerking it back into motion, heading roughly in her direction.

The lizard picks up his head. He moves for the window and then immediately ducks down when he sees the hares. "Blastblast BLAST! We got company."

The fox sits up on her perch, still picking her teeth with a wood pigeon bone, "So? We can just claim we are hapless travelers staying in the shack." The lizard sighs, pointing to the box full of stolen jewelry, "Ah, right. Either way, don't panic. We just hole up here for a moment, see if they pass."

She shrugs, "If they don't, we kill them."

The lizard twitches an eye but nods. He moves to grab his rapier from the near by table...

Once she grows closer to the older hare, Ava says, "Afternoon, sir. I was just passing by to see if everything is all right. I am Sergeant Avalon Firedale of the Long Patrol. Want some water?" She asks as she takes out a flask and hands it over. "I stop by here once a week to see if anyone is loitering about or trying to get out of the weather." As usual, she is all smiles and optimism.

"Well, Sergeant, it's nice to meet you," the older hare replies, keeping his paws firmly fixed to the handles of his cart, lest it should tilt over once more and the jingling jostle of his cargo make him too interesting. "Name's Harbin, down from the North, most recently." His clothing does have the look of something intended for colder climes, the quilting of a few pieces speaking in his defense. A hesitant paw accepts the flask of water, raising it cautiously to his lips and kicking back a sip. "Not used to takin' hand-outs," he explains, handing it back over, "but this long on the road knocks some of the pride out." A few gray hairs spot his tired face, wrinkles standing out clearly as he squints against the mid-afternoon sun. "We close to a town, then?"

The lizard throws himself against the wall, trying to peer outside as the vixen slings a quiver over her shoulders, grabbing her long bow in the process. "I see...two of them. Both hares."

"Blast. From the mountain?"

"One looks like a merchant...the other...I can't tell."

The fox pushes her back against the wall by the window, "Can you tell if they are...coming...over ...he-" A look of confusion crosses her face as the wall starts to, disappear behind her. She turns to watch the wall push away and fall flat against the sand with a terribly loud clatter. The other walls push the opposite direction, taking the roof with them and collapsing behind the fox and lizard.

It's a miracle the pair are not squashed, although less of a blessing now that they are both out in the open with shocked, confused looks.

After the dust settles the lizard uncurls himself from the protective ball he fell into. "I told you that you needed a diet."

"Hush you." The fox hisses.

"Yup! Halyard is not that far away and I'd be happy to walk you down there to get set up. They have an inn above the tavern." Ava says with a smile, motioning him to keep the flask as the water. "In the other direction is the Long Patrol Mountain that we all live in." As she goes to say something else, the shack falls down to expose the vermin. Blinking, she reaches out to snag the older buck by the arm, tugging him backwards and behind her as she slips her bow down into her free hand. "Uh, hey, good afternoon. You okay down there?" The weapons catch her eyes, especially the archer.

"Watch it," Harbin growls as Ava pulls him around behind her, clinging stubbornly to his cart and bumping into the handle in the process, skittering the cart around as he half-moves into her protective custody, about half as far as she probably intended. The collapsing shack is something to behold, somehow managing to self-destruct within just a few moments. "Guess they don't make 'em like they used to," the graying buck grunts, not bothering to arm himself like the rest of them. His cart is too important.

"Uh...uh..." the lizard begins, "Yeah! We are good! Just ah, doing some renovations here! Nothing to see here!"

Rolling her eyes the vixen launches an arrow towards the beasts. It whistles through the air before striking the cart with a loud THUNK.

"What are you thinking?" The lizard hisses, "I could have talked us out of this mess!"

"I'm thinking...that I really want a new cart to carry all our loot. Go around the other side and try to flank them."

"Are you mad? I could get killed!"

"Yes to both questions! Now move!" The fox snaps, taking another arrow and notching it, "You lot there! We don't want to harm ya...just come out into the open and we will let you go!"

It seemed that any good will Ava had was soon dispersed the moment that arrow flew out and hit the cart. An arrow appears in her hands and notched back as she goes from a girl out on a walk to the loud mouthed sergeant of the patrol. "GET ON YOUR BELLIES NOW!" She shouts at them as she takes aim at the archer, squinting one eye shut. "By order of the Long Patrol, you are either under arrest or surrendering your life. The choice is yours. I was in a good mood until you decided to take a poke at me. MOVE IT. /NOW/."

While Ava is shouting orders, Harbin decides that the arrow that thunked into his little cart had the right idea and takes flight. Both paws thump down heavily on the handles, latching onto his precious cart, and the older buck takes off, feet churning in the loose sand as he attempts to make a run for it. The thin wheels and their tendency to sink into the sand are infuriating as the traveler tries to make good his escape, slowing him down further than age was already.

"Smart hare." The fox chuffs in regard to the older hare. As her scaly companion tries to run for the nearest rock along the inward shoreline, admittedly there are not many, the fox sends an arrow towards her fellow archer. After all she said the magic words, Long Patrol.

She wasn't going back to prison...

Ducking down and rolling forward soon as she spies the arm go back, the arrow whistles over Ava's head as she hops up to her feet and fires back at her as her hand immediately and robotically reaches back to snag another arrow to notch it. She can sense the older hare taking a break for it, and she begins to march backwards as she takes aim once more.

Arrows flying. "I /hate/ arrows," Harbin gasps to himself as he struggles forward through the sand, unwittingly in the general direction of Halyard. The strange fox's shot sails past off to the right, but that's much more worrisome than comforting, since it means he's in the line of fire. Glancing worriedly over his shoulder, hat blown off to dangle around his neck by its drawstring, the buck realizes he's not being chased (although the lizard is out of sight) and slows to a winded trot, bending forward to cough and hack for a moment as it seems he's been granted a reprieve.

The lizard, for his part, is taking advantage of this little archer battle to try and keep himself out of the line of battle. He really, really just wants to run away, but if he just lets the hares go he will never be able to show his face in town again!

He dodges behind another rock before falling into a full sprint, trying to leap onto the back of the small push cart.

Crossfang meanwhile rolls to her side as an arrow comes flying by her. She giggles madly with adrenaline as she looses another deadly missile at the LP member. Why didn't she ever become a bandit? This was so much more FUN than simple thievery!

As she continues to march backwards, Ava times the release of the next shot and steps to one side. Then, with a twist of her body, she zips the next arrow around towards the lizard with his back to her in an attempt to protect the older citizen. Her knife is pulled out of her boot as her bow slips to her back, giving it a quick spin about in her palm.

Out of the kettle, into the fire. A giant flailing painted lizard is trying to jump on his little cart. This is /not good./ Harbin starts up from his little cough-and-wheeze session with an exasperated bellow, jerking the cart abruptly towards his body to shove his arm under the canvas cover and produce, of all things, a cast-iron frying pan. A big one, a bit bigger than his own head. This in paw, he shoves the cart hard at the lizard with a shout, its jingly contents jangling loudly, but momentum is not enough to overcome the sand and it just sort of topples to one side. "Of course," the buck mutters, raising his frying pan to menace the lizard. "Come on then! I've got bigger fish t' fry!"

The lizard slams into the back of the cart right as an arrow lodges into it right next to his head. He has no time to process this as the cart's contents come falling down on top of him. "GAK!" he shouts.

Kicking up sand the vixen dashes forward, sliding onto one knee, loosing a small volley of arrows at the other archer, one, two, three shots in rapid succession. In the end one doesn't have to hit a target overly hard, or even accurately to bring them down with an arrow... "Blazes you are harder to hit than slime covered toad, ye varmint!"

As she does the lizard pulls himself free of the cart. With a struggle he gets up to his feet, giving the older beast a stern, deadly look before marching his way, rapier in one paw, knife in the other.

Zig-zagging side to side quickly, Ava leaps, ducks, and dodges from the flurry of arrows, despite one tagging her across the side and catching in her dress. She gives a stumble to one side as she can feel the pain well up. With blade in hand, she continues to rush forward, then leaps forward to tackle into the fox in hopes thats he is unable to notch another arrow. If successful, she will drive her blade down into her, aiming for center mass.

So that's how it's going to be, eh? With a cry, Harbin advances quickly on the lizard, drawing his frying pan back with both paws and swinging it with all his lanky might at his quarry's head. Why fool around? The thing is /heavy/, and will certainly pack a punch if it connects full-force. "DEATH BY- BY DISHES!" The old bloke might not have youth, surprise, skill, or strength on his side, but he does have enthusiasm, by gumbo.

The lizard’s body goes completely rigid as if struck by lightning. His eyes roll upward and his tongue sticks out as the pan hits him over the head. He collapses onto the ground, face first into the sand and doesn't move.

The vixen is hardly doing any better. She yelps as she tackled by the hare, bow clattering away from her.

She grabs the hares paw, trying to keep the blade away from her. The fox sucks in her generous gut as much as she can’t avoid the knife but its tip sinks into her hide drawing blood. "GAH!" Crossfang shouts, throwing the hare away from her and rolling to her feet. She draws an arrow from her quiver and holds it like a dagger. Even then her eyes dart towards the lizard as he goes down.

She bites her lip, she could run, leave the lizard to find for himself and MAYBE not get shot in the process, or go paw to paw with a soldier. "I don't suppose that offer to surrender is still on the table?" She says without dropping the arrow.

"Oof!" Ava calls out as she tumbles to the ground, rolling back up to her feet as she clutches the dagger in her hands. She gives a quick glance down at the blood upon her dress, then glowers at the fox. "Just get the hell out of here and don't come back. I ever see your face around these parts again I will cut parts of you off that you will surely miss for the rest of your life." With that, she back peddles towards the older buck. "You okay, sir?"

That actually worked? "That... actually worked." Harbin looks from his frying pan, which is completely unfazed, to the fallen lizard, and back to his pan. He's in the act of straddling the multi-colored reptile as Ava makes her way over, smacking him a few more times in the face as she arrives. When he looks up, there's a nice little smattering of blood on his face, paws, arms, and the pan. "Blighter jumped on my cart," he explains, crawling off and straightening up. "No one jumps on my cart." It's kind of a chilling statement, in a weird way. The traveler makes his way back over to his tipped cart, shoving the jangly chest back into its place and tossing the pan in next to it.

The lizard doesn't complain. He's dead.

Or at least dead to the world in slumber. He yet breaths, if only to moan, "OooOoOOooh..." He makes no motion to stand let alone continue the attack.

Crossfang for her part feels a chill run down her spine at the hare's words. "A-ok ma'am!" She salutes then dashes away, slowly at first due to her wound, then faster and faster as the thrill of adrenaline turns into fear.

"Wow. Looks like you have things handled." Ava sheathes her knife once the fox runs off, then lets out a sigh as she clutches her side with a pained wince. "Do you need any help with your things, sir? I can still walk you back into town, then perhaps get some stitches in me." She wrinkles her nose. "And this was a new dress, too."

The look Harbin gives her suggests that he'd really rather not go together, but he puffs his cheeks out for a moment before letting the air escape and nods. "Can't hardly let you walk there alone like that," the mid-aged buck informs her, already positioning himself between the two poles of the cart and latching onto the handles. "Might as well get going. You're on your own after that, though, I've got business to attend to." The chest full of what sound a whole heck of a lot like coins appears to be his only real cargo; what he's up to is left a mystery as he starts trudging towards the village, tugging his stubborn cart along behind him.

In the absence of the hares there is only the sound of the waves crashing along the shore...and the moaning of the lizard.