12.22.08 - Just Some Guy

Location: Redwall Entry

Characters Involved: Zade, Sivaine, Nathan

In his great wisdom Zade hasn't questioned the events of last night. It's early morning and they're on their second lap around the abbey, running hard, with the otter a few strides ahead when they circle around and reach the entry again.

As they arrive Nathan is standing there, wearing his scarf and jacket, ears tucked back against the cold wind. He gives the pair of them a tired smile.

A night of sleep has quelled her rage, or at least layered it over with a smooth glaze of rest, and a morning of limbered muscles and the sped-by scenery of the abbey has laid it dormant, quiet. Too quiet, Sivaine realizes, as she rounds the corner and he's /there,/ like any other abbeydweller. Her eyes crease at the corners, ostensibly against the wind, but. "Zade," she calls breathlessly, feeling the raw ache in her lungs, "I'm going around again."

Nathan gives Zade a glance. "Can't you, like.. order her to stay put?"

"Don't you dare," Sivaine huffs.

Zade releases a short snort at this, broad shoulders moving in a shrug. "I can 'ighly recommend she take a rest 'fore goin' 'round again," he says pointedly at the mousemaid. "Take a few minutes, girly."

Nathan rubs his hands together, blond hair ruffled by the wind. At least it's not snowing. "Siva.. Please."

"Get stuffed," Sivaine snaps at the otter, but he's right; she needs a rest. Her body knows this and slows its pace. She bends over, breathing hard - trying to control her breathing, deep and even - and doesn't look up.

Sivaine says, "Don't. Just don't."

Zade walks away from them, toward the wall, where he puts one leg up against the sandstone and leans into it, starting to stretch out more and giving them space.

Nathan takes a step closer to Sivaine. "Just talk," he says to her earnestly. "That's it. Let's just.. talk. You can hate me all you want, hell itself knows I deserve it." His voice is low and gruff, making whitish clouds of mist in front of his face.

Curse you, legs. Why won't you move. "You do," Sivaine pants, keeping her eyes closed. "I can't. I'm busy. My arm." Back her up here, Zade. The less-muscled limb and its scars are clearly visible. "I can't."

"Well fortunately for me, 'just talking' doesn't involve your arm," Nathan says with a kind of wry smile. ".. what happened to it? Tail end of being broken, looks like."

"There was an owl. It's dead now." This is.. too much. Right now. Too much. Sivaine collapses into a cross-legged sit, still breathing hard, and covers her face with one hand. Her breath billows between her fingers.

So Nathan crouches in front of her, moving one hand out carefully. Without touching her face he moves a stray lock of hair away from her forehead, eyes on what part of Sivaine's face he can see. "Okay.. an owl. You killed it?"

What's visible is a pair of angled brows and a fine beading of sweat. "Sort of. Stabbed. Blinded it." Sivaine relays this information without rancor. "Didn't get out fast enough." Her brows knit slightly at the touch, and she almost winces.

"Well that's a feat," Nathan says with a chuckle, easing down to sit in the snow now, his knees bent up. "Prickly little Siva Brennig, the owl-killer. It suits you."

"Don't." Sivaine's fingers twitch. "Don't call me that." It's less a command than a plea.

Nathan lifts his brows a little, amusement showing in his expression. "I'm not allowed to use your name anymore? Did you stop being you somewhere along the way?"

"I'm not. I'm not." But she can't get the sentence out. "Siv. Or Sivaine. Just not- It's been such a long /time./ I'm not who you thought I was. Not anymore."

"Siv? .. okay." Nathan wears a slight grin as he nods, weight leaned forward on his bent knees. "I'll try to break the habit of the extra syllable. I'll /try/. You know four seasons is a long time to get used to calling you one thing, and then have to switch to another." He exhales thoughtfully. "... so is Ardice here with you? Your mom, any of them?"

Sivaine mutters something and shakes her head. "..it was just a summer," but the way she whispers it belies that. "Yes. No. There's Ardice. There's- there's Ardice."

Nathan gives her a steady look. "You don't think all this time I've been calling you Siva? Just .. in my thoughts?" He shakes his head, mouth twisted in a wry smile. "I wonder if Ardice remembers me, even..."

"Why /would/ I." It's half-strangled; her fingers curl around her temple and she bows her head, as if to touch her forehead to the frozen ground. "Why would I." In a breath, "You're hurting me."

This last causes a slow frown to draw across Nathan's features, brows pinched a little and furrowed. "I'm .. what, just by being here?"

Sivaine doesn't answer this. Not directly. Instead her other hand comes up to join her first and her fingers draw down her forehead, leaving little lines of ruffled fur.

"Siva," he gets out on a whisper, then cringes. ".. Siv. Sorry. Siv? ... I'm sorry. I am. I'll say it a hundred.. a thousand times over til you believe me." He exhales slowly, eyes shut. "... you know. I wondered how tall you'd end up. I've still got you beat though, don't I?"

Sivaine inhales. Slowly, slowly. Lets it out slowly, slowly, a rolling plume of white. "A /year./ A /year./"

"I know," he responds gently, moving his hand up to rest lightly on her upper arm. "... I know." He leans forward, resting his muzzle near the top of her head, and kisses her hair lightly. "I know."

"No. You don't know anything." She moves away from him, and in her current position the only way to do that is sink, knuckles brushing the packed snow. "It's been. A few minutes." But she doesn't rise. "I have to go running."

Nathan sighs, and smiles. He glances at Zade, who is giving them plenty of room; then back at Sivaine. "He's giving me more of a chance than you are. Just. Will you look at me? Open those big pretty blues and just. Look at me."

Well, she does. The first part, with a little mumble into the ground. "'re green." She's shivering slightly now, cooled by sweat and stillness. "I gave you. A year. Nathan," Sivaine whispers, and sits up enough to wrap her arms around herself.

"They're turquoise," he retorts, smirking a little. "And. I know. I .. should have waited. I /was/ waiting, I just. ... I was stupid. I was an arse. I freely admit that."

"G'h." That's all Sivaine has to say to that. It could almost, almost be a hitching little sob. This hurts, more than any owl's talons.

Nathan's hand moves on reflex, touching her arm, squeezing it slightly and pulling her toward him. He suppresses the urge to wrap his arms around her. "Can.. can I just... I want to hold you. Just let me hold you," he whispers, tone scratchy with sudden emotion.

No response. Just shivering. Something is starting to bead on her lashes, but a light snowfall's begun.

Nathan moves forward. His position changes, now he's on his knees. His arms encircle her in a sudden, warm hug that pulls Sivaine in against his chest, and he exhales a soft sound, throat tight and eyes held firmly shut.

Sivaine doesn't offer any resistance but a desperate little whine in her throat; her arms sag, drop, and her chin rests over his shoulder, jaw held tight but mouth a quavery line. "..nh."

Nathan just .. holds onto her. Trying to compress all that time and distance down into the sliver of space between their bodies. He breathes deep and slow, saying nothing.

"I don't even know who you /are,/" Sivaine whispers to the air.

Nathan releases a tense chuckle near her ear. "... I'm just. Some guy," he mutters dryly. "Who .. never got over you."

Sivaine's features tense up. Her ears wilt. Don't cry. Don't cry. Just.. don't. Cry.

He doesn't have anything to say after that. Not now. Not this moment. So Nathan holds her, staying still, moving only with the cold air that's drawn in and out of his lungs - breath warm against Sivaine's neck.

She stays like that - still, just breathing - for quite some time. Specks of white drift down and catch in her whiskers, her hair. Gradually, in silence, the tension eases out of her jaw and she just looks. Lost.

It's snowing. When did it start snowing? Nathan gives a heavier outward breath and his arms tighten just a fraction. He's not going anywhere soon.

"..mh," Sivaine mumbles.

Nathan mumbles back, "Mh?"

It's an exhalation. "..I have to go running."

Nathan draws back a little. His eyes open just a crack to look at Sivaine's face. "Does he let you eat ever?"

Sivaine doesn't open hers. Her face is statue-solemn. "You're kind of late to be worrying about me," she murmurs.

"I'm not," Nathan chuckles, smiling at her. Their faces are close together, his breath stirs her whiskers. "I was going to ask.. if you'd take lunch with me. Or dinner. Your choice."

"I don't.." Don't start this. Not now, her expression seems to say. Please. "I.. can't, I.. there's.. things. I need to do," Sivaine sighs, shoulders sinking. "Sorry."

Nathan's hand comes up against her face, presses and lifts it a little. "... I can wait," he says quietly. "You've got me around your finger, you know. Always have. I'll wait if you want me to."

Sivaine's lips barely move, mumbling something inaudible. She's just.. limp. "I have to go running," she repeats quietly. Calmly. She's holding on to that fact.

"Siva," Nathan murmurs. The hand moves, his thumb brushes along her cheekbone. "... it's just lunch."

"There's things," Sivaine repeats, eyes still closed, "that I need to take care of. Later. Maybe. I don't know. Not today."

"Okay," he murmurs, hand sliding away. "Okay. .. I'll be here." Nathan leans to give her a very quick, light peck on the cheek - the spot warm from his hand - and then detaches from her entirely, standing up and brushing snow from his pants.

"..mmnh." Sivaine wriggles backwards out of his hold at the same time, mouth twisting in an unhappy shape. She runs a paw through the scruff of headfur that passes for bangs.

Now Zade approaches, eyes lifted at the pair of them. He gives Nathan a crooked kind of grin and then nods to Sivaine. "Ready?"

"..not really," Sivaine mutters, ears flat.

"Well get over it," the big otter gruffs.

Nathan returns the grin with a kind of tired smile. He glances at Sivaine and says nothing else to her, turning to go inside again.

"Yeah," Sivaine mutters after a moment, and gets to her feet. She brushes off her pants (now rather damp and cold from sitting in the snow) and reaches up, undoing the cord that binds her hair back. This she reties, jerking each loop tight. "So. That's the reason I hate necklaces." She nods to Zade. "Let's go."

Zade's eyes cut from Sivaine to Nathan's back as the mouse goes inside. He gives a gruff laugh, shaking his head. "... well if y' don't want 'im?"

"What," Sivaine says flatly.

The otter grins broadly. "'ey, that's a fine-lookin' guy yer lettin' walk away."

"He walked away first," Sivaine replies quietly, and starts on her run.

Zade makes no response to this, and starts into a run alongside her.