12.03.08 - What You Thought It Was

Location: Redwall Infirmary

Characters Involved: Sivaine, Zade, Harper, Tameus, Darklett

Given all the fuss Sivaine made about being confined to the infirmary in the first place, it's a bit odd to see her in here of her own free will. She's sprawled out on her cot, reading over a much-folded paper with blocky handwriting on both sides. A few more are scattered across the sheets in the curl of her tail.

For such a big guy, Zade is able to move into the room with a fair amount of stealth. There's nothing to suggest he's even arrived until he chuckles in that gruff, dry manner of his, and shoots a comment at Sivaine: "Don't y' have your own bed somewhere?"

Well, it /was/ a peaceful evening. "Gah!" goes Sivaine, and the letter floats gently down to one knee and sliiides off. The mousemaid looks askance at Zade. "Oh, good. You're dressed this time." Hello to you too. "Until I hear otherwise, this _is_ my bed. Healer's orders."

Well, he was never not - but the otter is in pants this time, and his tartan is functioning as an actual tartan, wrapped around his hips and draped across his chest. The otter smirks at the mouse. "Would that be th' same healer that gave y' belladonna?"

Sivaine shifts her legs to the side as she leans forward to gather up the papers. A haze of headfur - still loose, thank you, Ardice - partially obscures her vision, but there's a blue-green glint behind the strands. "Are you suggesting I'm taking up needed space?"

"I'm suggestin' it does y' no good t' sit around," Zade responds. "You're not a cripple, Siv.. don't act like one, aye?"

Sivaine sits back up, awkwardly folding the letters against her chest, and ffts some headfur out of her face. "I've been up. There's not much you can do one-pawed, but I've been down regularly for meals, gotten a bottle of ink from supplies.." All right, there's not much you can do one-pawed. "..bah."

"Not a ver' accomplished invalid, then?" the dog teases, grinning at her. "C'mon, then. Get your cloak. We're goin' outside."

Sivaine snorts. "You were expecting me to compose an epic poem by lunchtime?" Then she hesitates. "I don't have one, and I'm supposed to stay inside." It sounds stupid even when she says it; she winces, almost imperceptibly.

The otter cants his head to a side. "Y' don't have pneumonia, Siv. You're not /sick/. You're just bein' stubborn. C'mon." He steps toward her, aiming to reach the door leading outside but pausing at the mouse's cot. "I'm sure y' can find a cloak t' borrow. No, ne'er mind." Tartan? Unknotted and tugged free of him, then shaken out. It is a rather large piece of cloth, which he now tosses at her. "Don't be so obstinate, aye?"

The tartan-covered lump sits very, very still. Only the tip of a tail flicks back and forth at the last joint. "That," it says, "is not a cloak."

Zade shrugs his broad shoulders. "It's a tartan. It's meant t' have multiple functions."

"... ..some I would rather not think about." Sivaine gingerly pulls the broad piece of cloth off her head, which leaves it draped over her shoulders. She holds one end out and gives it a doubtful look. "Is there a reason you're up here? ..were you _looking_ for me?" The thought brings forth a flutter of horror. Yes.

"That's 'bout th' worst thing that could happen t' you, ain't it?" the otter asks. "Me lookin' for y'?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Sivaine drawls.

Zade says, "How am I flatterin' myself by.. assuming.. that y' /don't/ want me lookin' for y'?"

Sivaine puts her good paw on her hip. It feels pretty stupid to just cross it over her sling. "I get the feeling you want me to think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, or the worst," she replies. "Sorry, but you're neither." She's sitting on her cot (good) talking to a.. bare-chested otter (bad.) With a tartan draped over her like a shawl. Her tail flicks back and forth irritatedly.

Those broad shoulders move again, as Zade gives another shrug. "Not really," is his fairly nonchalant response, glancing around in a casual manner and then returning his gaze to the mouse. "I jus' want t' know y'. An', I do, well 'nough. Nothin' else I'm tryin' t' accomplish." He smirks. "... no ulterior motives, sorry."

Suspicious eyes. Suspicious, suspicious eyes. Then Sivaine huffs, shoulders slumping a bit with relief. "Good. Thank you. Brilliant. _That_ I have no problem with." Pause. Long pause. "Then why did you do that.. thing."

Oh hum. What's this, now? Harper's been kind of staying away from this place a lot, lately. Bother him. He appears in the doorway now, though, looking inward silently. Ooooh, stealth Harper!

'That thing'. Heh. The otter chuckles. "Why did I /kiss/ y'? Y' can say it, y' know." He pauses ... and starts to grin. "That was your firs', wasn't it?"

Sivaine's lip pulls back, her incisors showing. At the same time, a flush begins at her eartips and spreads rapidly outward. "F- gnh-" is all she can manage for a moment, good paw twitching. Then, in a movement she probably shouldn't be making, she flings the tartan back at the otter. "Out!"

Meanwhile, Harper appears to have just turned to stone. He stares, unblinking and unmoving. Though one supposes he'll have to if Zade decides to 'out'. Hum. What a pickle.

"It /was/ your firs'!" Zade chuckles, grinning more broadly as he snatches the tartan out of the air. ".. an' secon'. ... an' third. Arright, missy, who would y' /rather/ have gotten your first three kisses?"

Zade has no idea Harper is there. None at all.

Sivaine takes a deeeeeep breath, ears slicking back and tail lashing furiously. "Hh.. ngh." Her good paw clenches and unclenches, and she's a beautiful beet red beneath her fur. Her mouth shrinks to a razor-sharp line, and then the mousemaid is on her feet, trying to manhandle the big otter towards the exit with one arm. So, mostly a lot of shoving. "I'd rather have had anyone other than you! Now GET! OUT!"

Zade takes a half-step backward and after that.. he's decided to be difficult to move. His brows tilt up and he lifts his hands to catch both sides of Sivaine's oddly colored face, tilting it up even as he's aggressed. It's nice to be large. "Siv. Sivaine."

Sivaine's paw pulls back, tries to push Zade away; she turns her face to her shoulder as best she can, eyes squinched shut. "Stop /touching/ me!"

Zade grips the bottom of her muzzle a little more firmly, and turns it back so he can see her expression clearly. The usual smugness is hardly present, his brows a little furrowed, small ears quirked backward. For a moment he just... looks at her.

Well. Sivaine tries to tilt her head down, then, refusing to open her eyes. Her ears are back, nose scrunched up, shoulders hunched as best she can. "Stop it," she mutters. "You're not serious. Don't you ever touch me."

And then a loud clearing-of-throat sound comes by way of the door, and then rapidly approaching footsteps quickly follow, and then there's a paw falling on Zade's shoulder. "You. You-you-you." Stutter. Argh! "/Let/ her go." That's better.

Zade's mouth opens a little. He's about to say something - there's a slight noise of words being cut off, though, because now he's grabbed at. He steps back, hand coming away from Sivaine as the motion makes him half-turn toward Harper. "Nnh?" Questioning noise.

Loud sounds. .. why are there loud sounds? It seems like any attempt Tam makes to sleep around here is interrupted by /something/, and it's happened again. He shuffles out from the corner where he was tucked up, trying to sleep, and blink-blinks curiously at the group. Sivaine, her otter - and.. "'Arper?"

Sivaine is just.. there, eyes shut tight, face flushed. Laid back against her skull, her ears twitch like stirring moths, and pick up a voice. "Tam." She goes to the leveret, and away from the other two.

Zade glances at Sivaine, then flicks his gaze down at Harper. "Thank y'," he grunts. "That was th' most /brillian'/ interruption.. ever." Mutter. His eyes are a little narrowed.

It appears there's been some sort of disconnect between Harper's brain and his body. Mostly his mouth, though. He shakes his head back and forth, clearly wanting to say something. But then Sivaine just walks off. His paw drops away from Zade at the otter's words. But he seems to find his words, at least! Sort of. It's quiet, but. "Don't. Do that. Again." His ears flick at Tameus.

Zade's hand snakes out to get Harper by the wrist. It's a snug grip - not painful or anything, just pointed. "Hey, y' know what? It's not your business," he says, voice low.

Tameus chirps fretfully. "Siv.." She's coming toward him, but doesn't get much attention. He actually ducks around her to go toward Harper, and chirps again. It's his 'Harper come here' noise.

"You're right - it's not my business who you kiss. It is my business who you try t'force," Harper replies in an equally low tone. He doesn't move his wrist. "Tam - I'll be righ' there. Just a sec."

Sivaine just.. shuts her eyes and stops there, letting her arm fall to her side and Tam pass her by. "Zade. Just go away for now. Please." Her voice is muffled; she's speaking into her shirt collar.

"Did that /look/ like forcin'?" Zade nearly growls. It's still quiet, though. "I was talkin' t' her. She's not a sweet lil' damsel, y' don't have t' try t' play hero." Now his hand does squeeze a little. "/Especially/.. when playin' hero. Interrupts an importan' talk."

Tameus flinches. He looks like he's been hit. For a moment the leveret is frozen, ears stiff, squeezing at the doll he holds. Anxiety is apparent on his face as Zade's grip tightens on the smaller male. "No!" he suddenly shouts. "NO, LET 'M GO!!"

Harper doesn't move that paw - oh no. His whole body's taut as a string, though. "I know what it looks like when a gel wants t'be touched, 'n' I know what it sounds like. That wasn't it. I don't want to ever see any maid in this abbey /ever/ looking like that again because of you. Understand?" And without pausing, "Tammy, be quiet a moment. Shh, okay?"

Sivaine studies her footpaws for a few moments more, 'til Tam's shout erks her back into the real world. "Tam," she murmurs quietly, putting her paw between the kit's ears on her way over to the two males. "S'alright." She stops about a foot away and looks up at them, her expression akin to a grumpy sleeper woken. Her face is back to its normal color, and she speaks quietly. "Zade. I will talk to you, but not now. Harper. I'm fine. Will both of you step down."

Tameus jerks forward. The doll is dropped and he lunges the handful of steps toward the pair, catching Zade by the arm with both hands. "Get off 'm!" he growls, pulling as hard as he can.

Zade stares coolly at Harper for a moment, then his hand starts to ease off. He only pulls his arm away from Tameus, gives the kid a look, and then drops his hand from the novice's wrist. Nothing is stated to Harper - he turns his gaze to Sivaine as he steps back. "... thanks." His tone is chilly, expression hard. The otter turns and leaves.

Harper doesn't say anything to /anyone/ until Zade has left. And then he just glances at Sivaine, his ears back, and croaks out, "I didn't do it for /you/..." He looks down at Tameus, then, and kneels in front of him. "Tammy, I'm-" He stops, glances past the leveret. And almost looks tenser than he did when Zade had a hold of him. He continues, his voice strained. "I'm. All right. Okay?" He looks back down at the leveret, putting his paws on his shoulders.

Tameus huffs quickly in and out of his nostrils, staring at the door Zade just left through. As soon as Harper kneels the leveret throws himself at the novice, arms encircling his neck, little body pressed in close. The trembling can be felt, if not seen, and he clings on in a tight hug, whining.

"Oh," Sivaine says quietly. Still that quiet murmured tone - it's what she was telling stories to Tam with, but stripped of its warmth, it's what she addressed Nidlorf with. "Well. That's all right, then." She watches buck and kit for a moment, expressionless, blinking slow.

Darklett is still in the infirmary. Lucky for him. He doesn't get entertainment like this back in the mountain infirm. He's stayed completely quiet throughout the whole ordeal, though, 'cause... Well, he wouldn't have been able to do much.

Harper allows the hug, and actually ducks his head down against Tam's shoulder. His eyes shut tight. Tam may be shaking, but a small shudder runs through Harper, as well. "S'all right, Tammy... He didn't even hurt me. Okay?" He tries to hold Tameus away, then, to show him his wrist. Twist this way and that.

Tameus whimpers. "'msorry'msorry." His muzzle is shoved into Harper's chest. His eyes are shut, so showing him Harper's arm doesn't do much. His fingers curl into the collar of Harper's habit toward the back. "'Arper'msorry."

Sivaine absently fingers the cloth of her sling. Her mouth quirks and her eyes narrow. She stands there looking rather lost.. and then pinches the bridge of her muzzle, exhaling slowly.

Darklett crosses one leg over the other, calf resting across his knee as he at least /tries/ to keep to himself. Infirmaries aren't very good for privacy, though. Hm, hm...

Harper just stays there patting at Tameus' back for a long while after the kid falls silent. Though at a certain point he just. Flinches. His eyes open and he looks over at an empty space next to Siv, somewhat balefully. And then his eyes slide to Sivaine, and his expression softens. "But... be careful, all right? You don't have to- Don't explain. I don't want to-" Hear it? He shrugs, shakes his head. "Just be careful, that's all."

"Harper," Sivaine says, watching the door, or a point beyond it. "I need to talk to you."

"'msorry," Tam mumbles pathetically. "I. I said. .. said 'd..." He whines and holds onto Harper more tightly. Whatever talk they're going to have, he's going to be present for. "'m sorry."

Harper slowly stands up, with a Tam stuck to his chest like one of those face-sucker aliens. He places a paw at Tam's back, just in case he needs some extra support. But, um. The kid's kind of got a strong hold, soooo. He looks levelly at Siv, though there's something pained about his eyes. "We c'n go out to the hallway, but I think he's, um..." Coming with.

Tameus bends up his knees a little as he's lifted by default. His feet find hold on Harper's hips and he continues to cling.

Sivaine looks first at Tam with a rueful expression, and then at Harper with none at all, though her eyes search his face for something. "That's fine," she murmurs. "He needs you." A little nod, and she pads quietly for the door with an "Evening, Major," on her way out.

Harper follows Sivaine out, murmuring reassuringly to Tam on his way out, though his eyes remain fixed on a singular spot in the room. He heads out.

Darklett's head half-nods in a greeting back to the mousemaid. "Evenin', Sivaine." He watches Tameus with a smirk. Despite the trouble he can cause, he's quite the character.

Sivaine walks soft and quick, making no more noise than the rustling of her clothes. She doesn't stop or look back until she's firmly outside the infirmary, when she turns around and looks up at the novice, still with that impassive expression. "Harper," she murmurs. It's a start.

Her expression hurts. Harper's own shies away from it, such that he won't look directly at her. "Siv," he echoes.

"That wasn't what you thought it was." Sivaine's gaze is direct, won't leave his face, and she adds, not entirely sure of why, "Either of the things you might have thought."

Tameus seems to have tired himself out a little. He holds onto Harper and just nestles in his hold, eyes shut - but he's listening to them.

Harper just looks. Strained. And oddly jittery. He's trying not to be, though. He even manages to meet Siv's gaze! His can't be quite so impassive, though. "Okay."

"No, not okay." Sivaine is calm. Eerily calm, really; she doesn't look tired, not with those wide-alert eyes, but they have an odd distance and the.. spark that usually fuels her now sleeps. "I overreacted, badly. I thought there was harm where none was intended, and that's my fault." A pause, and she repeats. "That wasn't what you thought it was. Harper." Her voice lingers on his name.

Harper is trying so hard to focus on Siv. He is. His paws are hooked together at Tameus' back, and his claw-tips are digging into the back of his paws. "Okay," he repeats. "Okay, Siv. It wasn't what I thought it was." And then, after just a beat, almost compulsively, "What /was/ it?"

Sivaine takes a step forward, then another, to close the distance. Her arm lifts, and her paw closes gently over the buck's own. "It wasn't," she repeats quietly, still with that direct look, but there's a glimmer of a sad smile there. She's silent for a moment, then: "Zade is a friend. He flirts like there's no tomorrow, but he doesn't mean anything by it. I thought he did, somehow, and it scared me. I'm not.. used to that." Her eyes shy away and down, and then her paws pulls back and runs through her headfur. "Heh. I'm an idiot."

Harper's paw first stiffens and then looses its tension at Siv's touch. He stares at her paw, seeming almost too surprised to credit it. It takes him several seconds of silence to recover. A paw unhooks and his fingertips alight gently on the mousemaid's cheek, in a silent request for her to look up. "I used t'wonder if that'd go away as I got older - bein' an idiot. A wise friend assured me that no, it doesn't, you just get better at hiding it." He smiles faintly. "I'm still workin' on that part."

Tameus shifts a little. His cheek rests on Harper's collarbone, eyes shut - the kit tactfully choosing not to interrupt this.

Sivaine just.. stills, then looks up with a hitching little intake of breath. "Hh." Her lips part slightly, her eyes open, and for a long moment she doesn't move, doesn't breathe, just stares at him, not like a serene sleepwalker but a startled child, wide-eyed and uncertain of what comes next. Then her body gives her a nudge - you need air - and she starts again in shallow, rapid little breaths interrupted by a gulp.

Sivaine says, "Um."

The expression Harper lays upon Sivaine is a mixture of tender and sad. His shoulders sink in a silent sigh and he shifts Tam in his arms, so that he rests to one side on his hip. He then ducks his head forward, slowly, his muzzle coming close to hers. The kiss lands not on her lips, though, but softly just to the corner of her mouth, before he turns his head to her ear, murmuring. "It doesn't /have/ t'be scary, Siv. Sometimes it c'n just be nice, 'n' you c'n let go." He straightens away, and his paw finally falls away from her cheek, fingertips trailing.

Tameus's eye flicker open a little as he's moves, and his fingers flex against the part of Harper's collar that he holds. The leveret gets a front-row seat to the little brush of lips that transpires. Now it's his turn to adopt a distant expression.

Sivaine is absolutely motionless. If she moves, she'll fall over. Or sink. She'll crumble, or melt. So she just concentrates on breathing, shallow and slow, but gradually quickening, not looking at anything or anyone. For a second, her eyelids flutter, and then her paw disentangles from her headfur and slowly, finger by gentle finger, touches her face where she was just kissed. They linger there; her breath slows to nothing. Her palm presses over her mouth and her eyes crease at the corners, threatening tears that don't fall.

There's a raw ache, somewhere between his heart and his throat, and Harper doesn't know what to do with it. So he tries to swallow it, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I'm sorry I'm not better than I am. I would be better if I could. But I'm here - if you want me, Siv. I'll be here. Okay?"

Tameus's fingers clench a little at Harper's collar, twisting the fabric. He shuts his eyes and pushes his face into Harper's neck.

For a while, no response. Then Sivaine closes her eyes, something glimmering in the corners. Her paw draws slowly away from her mouth and she looks up, meeting his eyes with the tiniest of nods. She opens her mouth. No sound comes out. What? "Kgh. ... ?" Blink, blink. "Guh. I just have to." She gestures vaguely over her shoulder, down the hall. "Go." Where is her voice? She touches her throat, tries again. "Sorry. _Say_ I'm sorry. Ap.. apologize. Ah." The mousemaid turns, takes a step, turns back. "I'll come back," she promises with a fragile little smile, and bangs into the stairwell on her way down.

Well, that was... Harper just kind of looks after Sivaine, with a mixture of consternation and amusement. She'll never be boring, that's for sure. He steps back into the wall and leans against it, looking down at the top of Tam's head. He gives Tam a tentative little nudge. "Tammy? You okay?"

"Yes," Tam mutters, "Nnf." He looks tired and dazed, very much 'what just happened' as he peers at Harper's face. "... why'd y' kiss 'er?"

"Because that's what you do when you like someone a certain way, Tammy. When yer older, I mean." Harper smiles slightly.

The leveret gives a huffy exhale which flutters against Harper's collarbone. "But.." Trail off. The grumpy buck pushes his muzzle against Harper's neck with a noise of discontent.

Harper's brow furrows slightly and he shifts the leveret's weight in his arm, for comfort's sake. "But?"

Tameus mumbles almost incoherently. ".. buty'shouldn'.."

Aw. Harp tilts his head to the side. "What's wrong, Tammy? Why shouldn't I?"

Tameus keeps his eyes shut. "Don' wan' y' t'."

Hm. Harper nudges Tameus' chin up with a paw. "Ya know it won't make me treat you any differently, right? You're still Tammy 'n' I'm still Harper. That's no different."

Tameus flinches his muzzle away from the touch, and tucks it in against Harper's neck again.

Harper frowns uncertainly. "Do you trust me, Tam?"

Tameus gives a tiny nod.

"Then believe me when I say it's not going t'change things. Okay?" He rests a paw gently atop his head. Teeny! fur ruffle.

"But d' y' love 'er?" the kit mumbles, fingers twisting at the collar of Harper's habit again. "'cause if y' love 'er.. an' all I am is your bes' frien'..." He shakes his head, ears tossing a little and then pressed back. This does not have the Tammy Stamp of Approval.

"I love you /as/ m'best friend, Tammy. Ya goof." Harper grins, giving a more vigorous head ruffle this time before dropping the paw away. "Sivaine is Sivaine, 'n' I care about her. But you're you, 'n' that's somethin' entirely different but just s'important."

Tameus shakes his head. "Doesn' feel good," is all he does to try to explain, staring at Harper for a moment and then shaking his head. "'t can' /be/ good 'f 't doesn' feel good.. an' I..." Mumble mutter.

Awr. Harp kisses the top of Tam's head. "S'gonna be okay, Tammy. I promise." And that's all he can really say.

Tameus tenses and actually bristles a little. His ears stiffen, nose giving a few little rapid twitches before he tugs to be let down.

Harper bites back a sigh in the face of Tameus' silence. He complies with the leveret's wishes, lowering him to the ground.

Tameus hurries back to the infirmary and ducks inside.

Harper watches Tameus go, then turns his eyes after Sivaine. He's all alone! Oh wells.