03.06.09 - Kitty On A Stick

Location: Ruingate; Venin House and Via Ariadne

Characters Involved: Harper, Tobias, Serjian, Jarven, Komali

Imagine that! Harper hasn't been allowed to lie about, all day. Crow is off somewhere, though, so Harper is on his lonesome. He is currently crossing the parlor, heading towards the kitchen. It is a slow process.

"Tobe! I brought mine!" Serjian is, of course, talking about slaves, here. He's over to visit! "Tobe! You need a /smaller/ house. Where are you?"

Harper's ears twitch. He turns, not just his head, but his whole body. Stiffly! He doesn't say anything to the ferret, though. He doesn't know where the heck Tobe is.

Tobias looks somewhat less that Commander-of-the-Navy-ish as he descends the stairs, stopping halfway down. His hair is all scruffy and he's pulling a shirt on, the sleeves tangled, giving a little annoyed growl when this doesn't work. So the garment is chucked at Harper. "Hey, fix that," he directs his slave, and gives Serjian and amused look. "What do you want, you drunk."

Komali is the next to enter, the little mouse following Serjian in. She's clearly nervous, and apprehensive, but the colorful little figure remains calm, and follows who is apparently now her owner into the building, standing behind him in much the same way as the little foreign figure might be expected to fall in line with a husband or figure of authority. She peers out, the sari arranged to only show eyes and nose as she looks to Tobias warily.

"Hey. Oh, /hey./" Serjian spots Harper first. "You're the difficult one." But before he can go on he turns to spot Tobe coming down the stairs. "No, I'm not drunk! Yet! Oh. Wait you were calling me a drunk. But still! Don't tell me you 'ave somethin' to do already tonight..." He glances behind him, making sure Komali's... Still there. She hasn't had much to do, really, since Serj bought her.

Harper's eyes flicker briefly to Komali when the apparent slave enters. His nose wrinkles with faint distaste and he lowers his eyes, tugging the shirt this way, that, and then /tossing/ it back at Tobe. "There. Fixed."

Komali continues to stand behind the ferret. She does spot the hare's distasteful glance, her only action being to lower her eyes.

"He's doing better since I whupped him last night," Tobe responds with a smirk, descending the rest of the way down the stairs. Komali gets a glance and he snatches the shirt out of the air when Harper tosses it back. This is just held for now. "But provided he behaves.. I should be able to squeeze you in somewhere. Alec." He snaps at the hare. "Cognac and glasses."

"Behaves? Didn't I /tell/ you not to get 'im? I told you. I /told you 'e was difficult. She?" apparently doesn't have a name, "She barely even makes a peep. Ooh, cognac an' glasses, Alec! Chop chop! Get to it!" He glances to Komali again. "Uh. Go... 'elp 'im." Order!

A door opens and one of the house servants looks into the room, spotting Tobias they clear their throat and bow. "Prinz Jarven of House Zerfren is here sir... shall I see him in?"

Komali looks over to the hare. Help him? Erm, okay. The mouse adjusts her sari and falls in step with said hare, though seems rather at a loss. It's really a one-creature job, pouring drinks. And what's cognac?

Harper's eyebrow quirks. He stares at Tobias for a moment, then glances at Komali. Without a word he turns and heads out of the room, to get the drinks.

Tobias's ear twitches toward the mouse, and he snorts. "Heh, sure, fine. Serj, Serjiiian, sit down, let's start the night in and then move it /out/, right?" Still with the shirt just held in one hand, he heads toward a sofa. "/Anyway/. He's useful. And he can take a beating better than the girl could've, I figure."

Serjian heads towards the sofa and collapses into it, waiting for drinks! Drinks, drinks, yay yay drinks. "Sometimes I'm not so sure when I talk to 'er she understands a word I'm sayin'. I wish /I/ was a bloody regent an' /I/ could just walk up an' take /my/ slaves for free..."'

"You didn't /pay/ hardly anything for her, did you? I mean, I had to beat up a guy to get mine." Tobe grins toothily. "'sides, you wouldn't want to be Regent, that'd make you a /vixen/.. and I mean Serj. You're pretty but you're not /that/ pretty."

Jarven saunters into the room, the blonde nad brown marten idly looking around before nodding to Tobias and Serjian, He is wearing his standard coat and turban and has something new wrapped about the peak and trailing down his back, a long white ribbon. "Good day to you all, not intruding I hope?"

Serjian snorts back. "You know what I meant. I 'ad to pat ten an' a 'alf gold for 'er an' I'm not even sure what I'm s'posed to /do/ with 'er." The ferret is totally chillaxed back against the couch cushions when Jarven comes in. "No!" he answers for Tobe. "Not intrudin' at all. C'mon, join us."

Tobias drops himself into a chair and stretches his legs out, shooting a smirking glance over at Jarven. "Ohh look, look who it is. What's going on, Jarven? We were having a bit of a slave talk while my Alec gets us some drinks."

Jarven smiles and drops down into a chair, lifting his feet to rest on a vacant stall. "Oh ho? Really now how are your new ones settling in? Adapting to their new life any?" he smiles, "Mine seem to need a few more object lessons."

Serjian heaves a noncommittal shrug. "I wonder if I could get more'n ten and a half for mine. It's kind of weird just 'avin' somebeast around. All the time. I mean, I know that's what she's /s'posed/ to do, but..."

"What, Alec? He's .. difficult." This is still Tobe's word of choice. "I beat him yesterday. He's slower moving now, if nothing else. Serj. Serj, my man, just leave her at home and make her clean or something."

Jarven curls his tail around his feet idly and smiles, "Mmmm you gave your hare a new name? Nice idea... I spent a lovely hour or slow melting down all the jewelry mine was wearing, bracelets and ribbons and clothing. Slaves always loose spirit when they have to watch you burn their life away."

"Wait, waaait." Tobe shifts, leaning forward a little. "Oh /you/. You're the one who got the doe. See I was thinking maybe Alec would be better behaved if I'd taken them as a pair, right? But I'm soft, maybe, I don't know. Where's the /drinks/, Alec!" he shouts toward the kitchen.

"Clean..." Serjian thinks about that for a second. "...My place 'asn't been clean in a /long/ time," he reasons, tapping at his chin. He's mostly kind of murmuring to himself, though he wholeheartedly agrees with a look to the kitchen. Arr, where're the drinks?"

Harper reenters the parlor carrying two glasses, the bottle of cognac tucked under an arm. Jarven will just have toooo... drink air? He comes in just following the shout. He approaches, holding one out to Tobe and the other to Serj. Once they are taken, he sets the cognac down and stands back with his arms folded behind his back.

Tobias gestures Harper over and reaches or his drink. He brings the glass to his mouth for a large swallow, then the whiskers on one side of his muzzle flicker. The buck gets a look. "You didn't water this down did you?"

Jarven eyes Harper, tilting his head to the side, "Oh yes, I got the doe, she's quite stubborn but my mm slave master has been softening her up. She is learning quite well. But it always takes a time to break in a slave." He leans back, idly fiddling with the ribbon hanging from his turban, "Of course things are slightly easier now she has sworn to serve of her own free will. Always good to get that out of a woodlander, they get all tied in knots if they have to break oaths."

Taking his drink, Serjian matches Tobe, taking a large gulp and sighing through his nose, nodding to Jarven. "You two 'ad slaves before or somethin'? Or does it just come natural?"

Komali watches paws as they take glasses, and Tobias questions Harper as to their preparation. She falls back in step behind Serjian, however, silent, calm.

Harper quirks his brow at Tobias. "Mm? Of course. That's custom where I'm from. You're able t'enjoy the evening longer before the drink catches up with you." Smooth, Harper. He's only half-listening to Jarven, so focused is he on Tobias at the moment. Somewhere he's missed who he's talking about.

Serjian looks irritated. "...Watered down? Cognac?" The ferret places the glass on the floor and turns around to face Harper. "Are you kiddin' me? An' this's /custom/ where you're from. /Custom./ To water down cognac." He looks at Tobe. "I /told/ you, Tobe. I /told/ you."

"Ey? Well, I mean Serj, you know, the family's always had them. /Koto/ is the one with the slaves, he's got more girls than you can shake a stick at. Have you seen the get-up he put the new squirrel of his in? Heh." Harper gets a glance, and a shrug, and he levels the glass of cognac down halfway. "Makes sense to me, man. Just keep your little 'customs' out of my house next time, right, Alec?"

Jarven shakes his head, "Woodlanders, you cannot trust them to know a decent drink I am afraid." he eyes Serjian, "My family has always used slavesm, they are good for manning the bellows and doing all the hard work. Wouldn't trust them to make the weapons in the smithies. But they can do all the hard work to free up my vermin crew." he nods his head to Harper, "This one looks like he's learning his place. Though you need to work on that attititude."

A little smirk touches Harper's lips. "Duly noted." He turns to go.

"Alec. Get Jarven a drink," Tobe directs. "Jarven, what do you want?"

Jarven says, "Mmm get me some Brandy Alex... such a nice name.. A good name for a slave. You know that is a really good idea, taking their real name away. I think i'll strip Darcy of hers. Have to come up with something suitable of course."

Serjian grunts. And sits down again, drinking his watered down drink. "Kiddin' me..." he mutters to himself.

Harper has paused as the order is given and then started again. But at mention of Darcy he goes very still. And then he's moving again, ducking back into the kitchen.

"Al/ec/. Not Alex," Tobe corrects with a little snicker. "Anyway I just didn't /like/ his name. I don't have a head for all the stuff you do with your slaves, I just boss them around. Cuff them a few times. Broke a chair over that one's back." He thumbs toward Harper.

Jarven laughs "Well i guess we all have our own way of training our slaves. I like to make sure the slave massaging my back is never going to stab me in the back with a dagger." he shrugs, "We have her nicely trained so far not to speak unless given permission."

Tobias grunts. "I've only just gotten Alec to fetch a drink when I say so."

Serjian seems just... Lost in all this slave talk. He's just got his drink and he's going to drink that drink, mmhmm.

Harper returns a few moments later. He holds a glass of brandy in his paws. This he walks over to Jarven, holds it out. He doesn't look at him. The brandy is warm. That's normal, right? For a brandy.

Jarven takes the brandy and swirls it slowly, it doesn't seem to bother the marten that it is warm. "Thank you Alec, perfect." He smiles at the slave, "You are adjusting well to your new life I hope?" He looks at Tobias, "I suggest destroying everything from his hold life he still has about him Dress him in something plain and drab, melt everything down, burn it... remove everything that links him to his past. He'll soon behave."

Harper inclines his head politely, arms folding behind his back as he turns to go. /Again/.

Tobias tilts his head and cocks his brows up a little. "Or.. I could just hit him when he talks back. Alec. Stay there by the door."

"Probably messin' with our drinks. We're all dead tomorrow." Serj chugs the rest of his beverage nonetheless.

Jarven takes a sip of the brandy and coughs and then sprays his mouthful into the air, he stands up and growls hurling the goblet at Harper's head. "Filth... what did you put in this!" he shouts at the hare, tail bottling out in anger.

Hey, at least he was expecting something. As soon as he hears the spray, Harper ducks, arms protecting the back of his head. The goblet flies over his head, shatters on the opposite wall.

Tobias blinks a little. ".. Alec. Go check on the babe," he directs with his brows up.

Jarven quivers and lets his breath out, sitting back into his chair.. Mmmm 60 lashes... yes I think that should about make up for it. I'll give them to Darcy myself and make sure she knows they are from you." he snarls spitefully to the other hare then glances at Tobias, "Sorry about that.. whatever he put in the brandy was foul."

Serjian's body perks up a little, alertly, at the sudden flinging of goblet at hare. "Hmm?" He glances to the side at Tobe after all's done with. ".../Told/ you."

Ohhhh, it's on. It is ON. Harper's ears immediately flatten and he turns. He is heedless of his injuries, because he is /leaping/ at Jarven, going for his throat.

"HEY!" Tobe is up out of his chair, stepping in front of Harper, catching his hands against the buck's arms to shove him back and /throw/ him to the floor. "NO! BAD ALEC!"

Jarven tsks and was half expecting Harper to leap at him, now he can't rip the hare's throat out in return! Tobias just spoilt the fun, the marten leans forwards and smiles, "Thank you Tobias... mmm he definatly needs some more work."

Serjian stands up with the quickness, eyes widened. "What in 'ellsteeth..." He just kind of watches as this all goes on, paw at his side. Always carries /some/ sort of weapon with him.

Tobias gives a slight growl and wrenches Harper upright by his arm. The buck is dragged rather roughly out of the room.

Jarven shakes his head and untenses, "Shame... I could have gone for a good scrap." he sighs, "Woodlanders, they are so slow to learn." he licks his claws and reaches up to adjust his turban.

"I /told/ 'im that one was difficult." Serjian sits back down, grumbling towards Jarven. "So this Darcy, she confronted me the other night. Wanted to know where Tobe lived so she could come pay Alec a visit."

Jarven raises his brows, "OH really!" he says, "I shall have to have words with her over that. We cannot be having that, no no not at all. Seeing Alec is a priviledge I think i'll suspend."

"I think 'at's a good move, buddy. You know, she said somethin' about Crow, too, the li'l kitten Tobe took from the slavers, so maybe she's kinda attached to 'im, too." Serjian is just offering suggestions, here.

Tobias reenters, and he looks /pissed/. "Mop water," is all he has to say, a bottle of scotch in his hand as he aims toward the other two. "Mop. Water, Serj." Blech.

Jarven nods his head, "I'll keep that in mind... I want to break that doe now.. I'll have her licking myu foot-paws and calling me master in a few months.." he smiles at Tobias, "And not for me.. I think I am going to head home and have... words with my hare slave"

"Get Alec to get you a mop an' water..." Serjian's very empty glass is nudged with his foot. Speaking of feet, "That's pretty disgustin', Jarven mate, but more power to ya, I guess."

Jarven says, "Get Alec to drink the mop water for a week, see how he likes it." he shakes out his tail. "Well it has been fun but I should get back."

"No. /Mop/ water," Tobe says, shaking his head. "The stupid .. /git/. Watered the cognac with /mop/ /water/." He kicks his boot into the side of the couch, growling, shaking his head. "... have a good night Jarven." Grr.

It's about three or four minutes too late for a spit take, but Serj tries anyway. "Ppppbtttt! What?" Serjian stands up and starts walking towards where Tobias drug his slave. "Think I need to get my paws around a bunny's throat..."

Jarven smiles, "Think up something fun to punish him. I will see you soon have fun.. i knew something was up with that Brandy." he nods and slips out with a soft smile, "Take his ears off."

Tobias takes a big swig of the scotch he holds, and passes this to Serjian. "Sit down, Serj, he's up taking care of the babe. Last thing I need is you busting in and upsetting Crow." He sinks into a chair again.

"Well..." Serjian stops, trodding back to the couch, taking the scotch on his way. "Lemme know when you wanna take care of some discipline, Tobe. I'll teach 'im ta mess with my drinks."

"Sure. Fine. You can have a go at him when he comes back downstairs," Tobe mutters. He leans back in his chair, putting one foot up on the low table. "Nnhgh, this is a bloody nightmare. The sooner Jess gets here the better."

"Aw, you're not keepin' 'im for a while?" Serj snorts, taking a long swig from the bottle and offering it to the cat.

Tobias shakes his head. "No.. no, I mean, I /will/ but I can't do much of anything with him. I mean, I can't get him obedient 'cause I need him able to take care of Crow. Otherwise I'd break half his limbs." The tabby reaches to take back the bottle and drinks a few gulps of the liquor. "When Jess gets here /she/ can take care of Crow, and I won't need him to do that anymore. So I can beat the hell out of him til he shapes up, see?" See! Logic.

"Ahhhh, good, good. In that case, d'you want me to lay off when he comes back down? I mean, I don't wanna make takin' care of Crow any 'arder on ya." Serjian chuckles, leaning back and crossing his arms, then his ankle over his knee. "You definitely need to do /somethin'/ to break 'im, or else he'll be the one enslavin' /you./"

"No /joke/. Should've listened to you, mate, I should've /listened/," Tobe mutters, shaking his head. He finally gets around to pulling his shirt on, taking another swallow and growling in the back of his throat. "Just .. don't hurt him too bad. I mean, I broke his ribs I think. But scare him, maybe. Shake him up a bit, you know?"

"Ahah... Alright." Serjian thinks he gets the idea. "Nothin'll break, I promise. Can't promise it won't get /close/ to breakin', but..."

Tobias shrugs. "I just want him /functional/ you know?" He growls. "I should've /taken/ the /doe/. I could be using the little chit for leverage, but /nooo/, Jarven's got her. Wonder if I could buy her off him..."

"You better be prepared to pay a lot. I don't know if you 'eard, but Jarv' paid a pretty price for the pretty li'l doe..." Serjian reaches out in a request for the bottle.

Tobias hands over the bottle. "And I could've gotten her for /free/. I'm an idiot. Tell me how much of an idiot I am, mate, go ahead."

"Imbecile." Serjian grabs the bottle and has a shot-sized gulp from him, and he sighs out through his nose with a buzzed grin. "Dolt, idiot. I told you 'e was difficult, but nooooo, just bloody delegate the /kid/ off to ol' Serjian while you beat the snot out of slavers for a slave 'at's causin' you /more/ work than you 'ad before."

Tobias growls again, and leans over, punching at Serjian's arm. "Yeah! Well you /bought/ a slave that doesn't /talk/! She doesn't say a damn /word/! ... at least mine was /free/!" He gets up, shaking his head, going toward the stairs. "Stupid bloody bunny, I'm gonna drag his arse back down here..."

Serjian rubs at his punched arm in mock injury, snickering. "Ten an' a half gold? Not bad, if you ask me." The ferret watches the cat go, taking another shot-sized gulp from the scotch. "I think I'm ready for 'im..."

Tobias heads up the stairs. It's not much longer before he comes back /down/, giving a sharp little growl with every stomped step. "He's gone! The daft thing took off!" He grabs his coat.

"/What./" Serjian gets up, slamming the scotch bottle down on the table. "Hehehe... Let's go huntin', Tobe." Serj chuckles, heading towards the exit of the house.

"Oh, oh, /let's/!" Tobe is buzzed, yes he is. That will make the slave-hunt interesting. He pulls on his jacket, grabs his sword, and fastens this onto his belt as he leaves the house.

And they're off. Serjian grabbed his coat on the way out, and looks back and forth alertly. "Did he take Crow?"

Tobias shakes his head. "Hah! /No/. Nono. If he had I'd be .. heh, heheheh. A /lot/ more pissed off, right, right? Right Serj?" He heads off down the street, not really hurrying or anything. "He probably went off trying to find his dearly beloved or somesuch, the idiot."

"Right, right Tobe..." Serjian taps his paws together. "Think we should go check Jarv's place?" he asks, reasonably! "I mean, you're prolly right, honestly. Maybe you're not so dumb after all, Tob."

Tobias snorts. "Not /so/ dumb? Look who's talking, mate, you're stupid as they get! And /then/ some!" He barks out a short laugh. "Sure, yeah man, let's swing by Jarv's place, see if the poor git is mooning at a high tower for his lost love. Serenading, even!"

"How'm /I/ stupid? What's the las' stupid thing /I/ done?" Serjian just kind of leads the way towards Jarven's home, pointy ears up and alert. "I 'ope 'e /is/ serenadin'. I 'eard hares make good poets." He might be making that up.

"What! Hahah, no, no, you're fibbin', man, you're so full of it. Do they /really/?" Tobe gets distracted by a passerby, waving him over. "Hey! Hey, you seen a buck anywhere 'round here? Yeah, yeah a /buck/! Male hare! .. how do you not know what a /buck/ is, idiotic piece of.." Mutter.

Serjian jogs over Tobias's way when he realizes the cat's not following. "Come /on,/ d'you honestly think we're gonna get any 'elp at all from 'im? Jus' let 'im go an' we can go to Jarv's! I bet that's just where 'e is..."

Tobias shoves his hand against Serjian's chest. "I was just /asking/," the tabby mutters, shaking his head, kind of jostling into his friend with a sidestep. "Stupid.. surrounded by /stupid/! Anyway, the last idiotic thing you did was uhh. Uh. Drink mop water! ... least it wasn't whatever was in Jarv's drink, right? Wonder what /that/ was..."

"'ey! /You/ drank it too, ya big dumb cat!" Serjian defends himself with a push, which, given Tobe's stature, will probably cause Serjian to step away from Tobe rather than the other way around.

Harper really has no idea where Jarven's house is. Aside from the part where he's been keeping to shadows and alleyways, he has essentially been wandering. And by the way? Scaling down the side of a building with broken ribs? It takes /devotion/. Or good spirits. And Harper didn't have any good spirits. He is back in a darkened alley, now, leaning against the wall with one paw pressed against his ribs.

Tobias is as massive and immobile as ever. He grunts. "Shut up, you arse. I'll /demote/ you. .. hey, hey is that him!" ... no, that is definitely a drunk rat puking in a gutter.

"That ain't 'im, you..." Serjian is struggling for a synonym for... "Idiot! 'at's a rat. Let's go, you... idiot. Idiot, idiot!"

Harper's eyes have closed. He hears their voices approaching. "Damn it," he whispers to himself. And then he's heading deeper into the alleyway, looking for a place to hide...

"... oh. Oh but it /looked/ like him for a second," Tobe mutters. He shakes his head. "Uhh. Wait. Wait wait. Are we even /looking/ at the alleys man..? 'cause /I'm/ not, heh."

"No, it didn't. It looked like a rat." Serjian shoves Tobe, which is to say he shoves himself away from Tobe, again, going off into the alleys. "Well let's check the /alleys/ then!"

"Right. Good. You .. look in /that/ one." Tobe shoves Serjian in one direction, and heads in the other. "I'll be over heeere! .. don't get lost again, Serj, you know alleys don't like you."

"Shut /up,/ Tobe, you... Idiot!" Serjian growls under his breath and checks one of the alleys, peeking into the shadows for any hiding long-eared slaves. Any long-eared slave will do.

The alleys. They /alleys/! Harper looks around a little more frantically and - aha! He dives for a crack in some fencing at the end of the alley, squeezing through it and hunkering behind. He peers out through a narrow strip between two slats, unmoving.

Tobias makes a gesture at Serjian that is just /so/ friendly. And he heads toward another alley, which happens to be Harper's alley-of-choice. The tabby moves down into the shadows, gold eyes glowing more yellow-orange in the dark.

Damn cats with their night vision. Harper eeeases back from the fencing, eyes casting about for some sort of weapon. He sees a chunk of discarded wood, reeeests his paw on it.

Serj kicks some rubble against a wall as he doesn't seem to have the right alley. He crosses over into another one, adjacent to Tobe's alley of choice. He doesn't say anything though, just kind of stumbles his way through the alley in a search for the hare.

"No luck?" Tobe calls in the direction of that stumbling. He reaches out, fingers trailing along a fence to one side, then slides his claws out. It makes a scraping noise. His tufted ears are perked up and he glances over toward the little niche where Harper is. Stops.

And so does Harper. He doesn't even /breathe/.

"No luck," Serj responds, heading towards Tobe. "Why didn't we try Jarv's again? Oh, I know why, 'cause you're stupid."

"Shut up Serj," is all Tobe says. He just .. stands there, ears cocked forward. Listening.

"Ooooh, nice comebaaaack, Tobe. You showed /me/..." Serj rolls his eyes, leaning against the fence, making it squeak a little where he does. "It's not like 'e can get out o'Ruingate..."

Harper's eyes narrow into slits. Less whites for Tobe to see.

Tobias's whiskers flicker a little. He sniffs the air, takes another step forward.

Serjian looks at Tobias oddly. "...What're you doin'?" He looks towards where Tobias is walking. "You fin' somethin'?"

No movement from the shadows.

Tobias ignores Serjian. He sniffs again, takes another step. His hand moves to one of the loose planks, next to the space Harper slipped through. It creaks and scrapes as he pushes it aside.

There's a spider crawling up Harper's arm. He must seriously consider which is worse: being throttled or the spider.

Serj looks down at the loose plank, brows raising as it does. He actually shuts up this time, stepping back and watching Tobias.

Tobias pushes it aside, steps closer, and his muzzle breaks into a wide, toothy grin. "Oh there you are Alec..."

Harper doesn't move. His muzzle twists in a grimace and he /finally/ shakes that damn spider off. This was pretty much the ending he expected. "Fancy runnin' into you here."

Serjian leans to the side to try and get a view. "Let me at 'im... C'mon, Tobe, you said I could..."

Tobias pushes the loose board further aside, and sidesteps, holding it open for Serjian to go through. "Have your fun then, mate," he says with a slight growl.

Serjian sneers, crawling through the fence and walking towards the hare. "It'll 'urt less if you just let me at you."

Harper waaaaaits. Waaaaits. 'Til Serjian's close enough. And then he swings the board at Serjian's head! And, oh! Hey! Harper gets excited! There's a nail sticking out of it, even. But, aww. Man. It's facing the /wrong way/. Okay, just the board, then.

Okay, /sober/ Serj would probably stop this from happening. But he downed like basically four shots of scotch and a glass of cognac before this. So his reaction time is pretty slow, and results in him getting decked in the side of the head by a two by four. He stumbles a moment, then collapses to the ground, eyes rolled up slightly into his head.

YES! Harper flips the board, now, so that the nail will actually /do some good/. And darts a step forward to Serjian, to kick him in the face. Put him /out/.

Tobias grunts. Yeah, that's why it's good to send the lackey in first. The tabby ducks his head and steps through as well, one arm up, ready to catch any swings at him.

Serjian's already knocked out, mostly. He's kicked in the face, though, and with the force he rolls over onto his back, sprawled out. Yeah. Unconscious.

Harper backs up as Tobe approaches. His eyes are narrowed into slits. "Here, kitty kitty kitty." Kitty on a stick! Sounds good to him.

Tobias keeps that arm up. Better to be whacked on it than the face. He steps over Serjian, his own eyes bright in the dimness, narrowed somewhat, fangs visible. "Do you even have any ribs left to break..?"

"Don't know. Why doncha come find out?" They have no idea what it is costing him to do this. Well. Tobe might be able to guess! But Harper's not letting on.

Tobias takes another step, and another, fairly slow and sure-footed. Then he lunges to grab at the stick.

Harper isn't messing. When Tobe lunges, he swings the stick at his general head region, pointy bit forward!

Tobias ducks his head back while one hand goes up, and he catches the swinging stick against his palm - a few inches lower than the protruding nail. He pivots his torso, jerking Harper in toward him with the grip on that stick, his other hand thrown in a fist toward the buck's groin.

Ohhhhhhhh. Harper goes /down/. Harper goes down hard. His world has just become much more focused and much... smaller. It has narrowed down to one thing. Poor buck.

Tobias tugs the chunk of wood free, and hurls it off to the side. He pushes Harper over onto his back with one foot, and sets that foot against his neck - then leans into it. Not hard enough to choke off the air, not yet anyway. "This really has to stop, you know... Twice in two days?"

Harper's lip curls in a silent snarl. "Every. Day."

Tobias presses a little harder. "Every day what, then? You'll make me lose my temper and beat your arse? Every. /Day/?"

"You. Don't. Get. To own me." Harper chokes out. And then grabs Tobe's foot, twisting it at the ankle to try and drop him down. Tobe on the ground as well would be pleasing.

Tobias jerks back, trying to free his foot, but the twist causes the tabby to lose his balanc. H falls to one knee and as he does, aims a backhand to Harper's face.

The backhand connects. Harper's head rocks to the side from the impact and he will probably have a black eye tomorrow. He jams his knee upward into Tobe's groin. Karma, oh yeah!

Tobias is sort of off to the side, though, and a quick twist to the side catches the knee more against his thigh and hip. /Just/ missed, but it hurts like hell and the tabby gives a deep growl, hitting his slave in the face again, catching him by the hair and twisting to force his head back.

With a little pained growl, Harper's head is forced back. He glares at Tobe, not saying anything. For the moment he doesn't move.

Tobias forces the other hand against Harper's throat. Deja vu much? "It's like you don't ever want to /see/ her again. You just want to test me and test me until I lose it and /kill/ /you/, is that it?"

Well, what does Tobe think Harper was trying to accomplish by this little expedition? His eyes have narrowed. "/Don't/," he chokes out. "Pretend like there's a happy endin'."

"Then why don't I just kill you?" Tobe hisses, claws pricking Harper's neck above the collar. "Just end it here? Is that what you're trying to accomplish? Some round-about kind of suicide?"

"This is me stayin' alive." Harper's head gives the slightest of shakes. "... If it kills me? Darcy'd understand."

Tobias's muzzle twitches, but he has no reply to that. The tabby is stumped. He squeezes Harper's neck and then eases that grip, letting go, pulling the buck up as he stands with a grip on both ears. Yank. "Unfortunately you have too much entertainment value for me to kill."

"... Lucky me," Harper croaks. For the moment they seem to have reached some sort of truce? Harper isn't attacking, anyway. He stands there, uneasily, eyes shifting briefly to Serjian. Ah. Ha.

Tobias lets go of Harper when the buck is upright, and cringes, rubbing at his hip. Ow. "Do I need to chain you in your room or will you just .. /stay/?" he mutters, going to lift up Serjian. Oh, Serj, how many times has Tobe had to carry you home?

Harper's answer is to actually smile, a faint but pained thing. "I guess we'll see."

The board has shifted back to mostly block the space in the fence. With Serjian in his arms Tobe pushes it open with his foot, and holds it there with a nod for Harper to go through first.

... Which he does. Harper ducks through and then even holds the board away for Tobe to pass through, as well.

Tobias follows, maneuvering his tall form to fit through and keep Serjian from knocking into the side. Which he does anyway, a little. The cat considers Harper for a moment while he slings the unconscious ferret over his shoulder. "I should've," he says gruffly, heading out of the alley.

Harper won't disagree with that. Smirking, he follows Tobe out of the alley. It is safe to say that his pace is slow.

Tobias clarifies, "Your girl. I should've taken her too." Because maybe, maybe things would be less difficult that way.

Harper's ears flick. He glances up and studies the back of Tobe's head. There are a million responses he could make to that, spanning all the way from, 'Too late?' to 'Thanks for saying that.' In the end, he says nothing. His paws find his pockets as he allows Tobias to lead them through the unfamiliar streets and back home.