01.28.09 - A Monstrous Joke

Location: Redwall Healer's Dorm

Characters Involved: Harper, Sivaine

Too much excitement. Tam is clean, at least, and smells rather strongly of soap - not vomit! He's passed out on Harper's bed, hugging Taye doll.

Harper isn't on the cot. He's at the foot of it with his back to his trunk, and he's writing.

There's a knock on the door, just a light tapping.

Harper looks up at the tap, glances back at Tam. He sets the parchment aside and stands, opening the door. He nods, silently, and points to Tam. Puts a finger to his lips. "Quiet," he whispers.

It /could've/ the Spanish Inquisition. But it's Sivaine. She looks freshly washed, slightly damp, and a sight less disgruntled. She's almost presentable. Her eyes flick over Harper's shoulder to the sleeping leveret, and she nods. "Mm. So." She keeps her voice down.

"... So." Harper for his own part looks a trifle wary. Like maybe he'd prefer the Spanish Inquisition. He steps aside to let her in, waiting to close the door behind her.

Sivaine sidesteps, slipping through the door. She folds her arms and looks at Harper, one brow raised.

Harper closes the door quietly behind her, waiting a moment before turning to look at her. He's in a fresh habit, from the look of it. His arms cross over his chest, each paw disappearing into the opposite sleeve. He doesn't say anything.

"So what do you think of a going-away party?" Sivaine asks.

"I think that would be a good idea," Harper states evenly.

Sivaine glances at Tam, then back. "Well all right." One paw drops; the other migrates to her hip. "Cake? Amusing party games? Little speeches?"

Harper manages a small smile. "The standard affair, then."

"So you know how things work?" Sivaine asks, with a little quirk to her muzzle. "Because I don't."

"Well, I'd say plan it for Cavern Hole... I find him wherever he is, looking stern and unhappy about something, tell him that I want to show him something, and bring him down to Cavern Hole... and tada! There everyone is. Big surprise. Eh?" Harper shrugs, keeping his volume low.

"Big surprise," Sivaine agrees. "Ardice could make something decently decorated. Long Patrollish. I owe him a story, and.. well, he usually provides his own amusement."

Harper nods his agreement. Tam does, at that. "All right. Just tell Ardice to lay off the poisonous herbs." Heh.

"I'll pointedly reminisce about the Western Shore. Flip through sketches. Don't be surprised if the cake has long ears?" Sivaine turns her head slightly, looking at Harper askance. Hey. Hey. Cheer up, hey. "Just a small thing, I figure. A.. cozy. Thing." Nose twitch.

The smile that Harper returns for the sake of that look is a wan one. I'm trying. See? I'm trying. "It'll be nice. I'm sure he'll love it."

"Great idea," he adds.

Sivaine nods slightly. "I'll wrangle Ardice and leave decorations to you," she decides. Then: "You know. You /can/ talk to me about things."

"Are you going to hug me too, now?" Harper's smile is faint, but wry. It clears, though. "No, I know."

"That depends. Do you /want/ to be hugged?" Sivaine asks, the corner of her mouth quirking up. "I was there too. You don't have to.. well, you get the idea. There's a story I ought to tell you some time. Maybe."

Harper can't help it. He chuckles. "Is there anything you don't have a story for?"

"Well. I /have/ spent a good deal of time collecting them." Sivaine snorts lightly. "Most of them aren't about me."

Harper just nods. "All right. Maybe you'll have to tell me that story some time, then." He turns partly, looking towards Tam. Brow furrow!

Tam is still slumbering deeply. No eavesdropping from him this time!

"Not at the party. It's not that kind of story." Sivaine follows Harper's gaze. "What," she asks. Murmury.

Sivaine says, "Oh. He gave you the flower?"

"It will be like this whole fall and winter never even happened. Once he's gone." Harper sounds so heart wrenchingly melancholy. "It was good. All of it." And then. "Yes." He nods towards the shelf.

"No," Sivaine disagrees mildly. "It happened. All of it. Everything that happened stays happened." A brief pause. "He's not /gone./ He's still your son. He won't forget you, or stop loving you just because he's far away."

Harper sighs softly. He nods. "You're right, of course."

Sivaine's brow furrows. "Of course?"

"You frequently are," Harper replies.

Sivaine can't help it. She snickers. It's a sort of disbelieving 'snrgkt' with a lift of the eyebrows.

Harper smirks. "I didn't say /always/."

"I'm astounded you'd say /frequently,/" Sivaine mutters wryly.

Harper's muzzle twitches. He shrugs. But then whatever smile might've surfaced dies. "I wish I could take it back." The ever-ambiguous it.

"It?" The ever-prying Sivaine.

"There never were any herbs. I don't think. I..." His brow furrows. "I went back and it was empty."

Sivaine tilts her head to the side, looking up at him from the corner of her eye. "Empty?" she inquires.

"Just an empty shack. Hardly standing. Like it hadn't been inhabited in seasons." Harper's looking down on Tam, just for something to look at. "No herbs. No pipes. Nothing."

"..Harper." Sivaine's expression is.. searching. Slightly guarded. "Who's Rep." But nothing accusatory in her tone.

"A demon. A devil. A monstrous joke?" Harper sighs.

"My best friend?" That's pathetic.

Harper says, "Or he was, anyway."

"Go on," Sivaine prompts, low and musical. Tell me a story, Harper.

Harper turns, sitting back on the floor, his back once more to the trunk. His forearms rest on his knees, paws dangling between his legs. "He just showed up one day. Happiest bloke you'd ever meet. All laughs and good cheer. We were living at the church, then. He'd lead me off into the woods. To this place. And we'd just talk. Pass the time. Hang out. He'd give me somethin' t'smoke or drink. It was great. He was great, you know? Great guy." He glances up. Do you know, Siv?

"You? The church?" Sivaine asks. After a pause she trails over, taking up a similar position leaning against the chest at the foot of the cot opposite.

Harper nods. "You know - the ruins? Ninian's? Flaxpaw and I, we wanted to fix it up. We were fixing it up. We wanted to farm. Live simply. Family was enough - we didn't need anything else. The babes were born there."

Harper smiles faintly. "Churchhares. Doesn't roll off the tongue quite s'well, does it?"

"Mm," Sivaine acknowledges, a throaty hum. "Well. It could be churchbadgers, if you could fit that many." Her ear flicks. "So. What happened to Rep? With Rep."

Harper doesn't continue for several seconds, but when he does it's with a little nod. "Well, sometimes it wasn't so great, was it? Sometimes it was like a nightmare. I'd see things. Awful things. But I thought it was just the herbs. That's what Rep said, anyway." Harper shrugs. His voice is a low murmur, steady. "Sometimes he'd come around the church when Flax wasn't around. When I was watching the babes. It was one night, late. We had the fire. The babies were toddling around and I was watching them. Then Rep came. And we smoked. We were having a great time, all of us. Just laughing and playing and capering around. And then I wasn't watching and Micah tripped into the fire. I didn't notice, not 'til I heard the screaming. I turned and he was there, struggling and on fire. I've never felt so sober so fast. I yanked him out by the shirt. He was. Oh, Siv..." His eyes close. "I did what I could. You know? Rep was just kind of hovering. Encouraging and talking me down. I was freaking /out/... And then Flax got back."

Sivaine's expression is.. complicated, and her ears are half folded back, like closing flowers. "And then Flax got back," she echoes quietly.

"And... I tried to explain. I'd told her about Rep before. So I was trying to explain - that Rep and I had just been having a smoke and playing and we just looked away for a /second/... And I looked at Rep, desperate for him to /explain/, you know? To explain it to her. So I said, 'Rep - Rep, tell her, man.'" Harper grimaces.

That's probably summing things up preeeeetty lightly. The screaming, frantic Flaxpaw can probably be assumed.

"..and he didn't," Sivaine supplies. She's gone quiet and still, like an undisturbed pond.

"He /did/. He was talking and she was just. Staring at me. Staring. Staring. 'There's no one /there/, Harper.'" Of course, Rep wasn't very fond of /that/ sentiment, was he?

"I didn't like that. I thought she was off her rocker. I screamed at her. Wanted to know what the hell she was /talking/ about. I thought maybe she'd lost it - from the. Shock. You know?" Harper glances up again, just briefly.

Sivaine just looks. Unhappy, in a vague sort of way, by the slight crease in her brow and the deepened corners of her mouth. "I know," she says quietly.

"So I left. I went to the shack. And there was nothing. Nothing there. And Rep was gone. I screamed for him. Screamed until my throat bled. And he wouldn't come." Harper grimaces, thunking his head back against the trunk. "When I came back, later. She was packing. And the babes were gone. And-" He sighs, such a painful sound. "So. So. Okay." There's your story, Siv. Happy now?

Sivaine's ears flick back at the noise. "..does he still come around?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I see other things, though that hasn't happened in a long time. But I don't. Talk to him. Or look at him. Sometimes I want to, though. He acts so damned /hurt/." Harper laughs, a sad little thing. "I guess I did when I was sick."

"..other things?" Sivaine asks. She's found a loose end, and seems prepared to follow it until everything unravels.

Harper shakes his head. "Nightmare things. I don't want to talk about it." It's enough. Let it be enough. "It was bad for a while after they left. I drank a lot. /Actually/ drink," he amends. "That's one sure-fire way to make it go away."

"Mmnh," hums Sivaine. She's not entirely here, just a blue-green gaze and a quiet voice speaking through a body. "You talked to someone once. Looked at someone. When Tam fell down," she recalls. "Looked up and said 'It's okay, it's okay. Yeah.' That was him?"

Harper's eyes shift away. He nods. "I guess I was kind of losing it, there."

"You were very upset." It's a rare moment of almost-diplomacy for Sivaine.

Harper snorts. Possibly at the 'kind of losing it'. That's kind of funny, isn't it?

Sivaine doesn't look like she's much in the mood for humor. She's just.. quiet. One hand stirs, slips into her pocket. "..you know," she starts. Stops.

Harper's ears twitch. Yes, Siv?

Sivaine's nose wrinkles slightly. "What does he look like?" she asks, instead.

"Normal like you 'n' me." Harper shrugs. "My height. All white fur. And... yeah. Just. Normal." He shrugs.

"..Harper," Sivaine says slowly. "You're a hare. ..I'm a mouse." Bit of a difference.

Harper's ears twitch. He gives her a glance. "I meant he doesn't have six eyes or three legs or anything. Thank you, though. I'd missed that crucial difference along the way." Brow-quirk.

Sivaine says, "So he's a hare."

"... Oh. Yes. I thought I'd said. Yes." Harper has the good grace to look slightly. Something.

"I didn't catch it." Sivaine's hand moves in her pocket, fishes for something, closes on it. Stills. "And he.." There's a thought there, waiting to be finished.

Harper doesn't interrupt.

Sivaine's mouth twists to the side. "Has he ever.." she asks, brow slightly furrowed, "Has he ever shown up? When I'm around?"

And all Tam has to add to this conversation is a slight twitch of his foot.

Harper's brow furrows. "... You were there for. When I was sick, right? And when Tam fell?"

"I was there," Sivaine confirms, drawing her hand from her pocket. There's a brief flash of blue, and then it and her other are folded behind her drawn-up knees.

Harper catches that flash. "What was that?"

"Oh. Just-" Sivaine holds her hand up, back facing out - it's the ring. It disappears into her lap again after a brief second.

Harper's ears twitch. "Ah. Right."

Pause. "Siv?"

"Mn?" Sivaine arches her brows questioningly.

"Promise me you won't say anything to anyone. And not him." He thumbs his paw towards the bed.

Sivaine's ears angle back a fraction. "He already knows you.." She presses her lips together. "..Harper," she says, very, very carefully.

Harper says, "/Promise me/, Siv."

"He already knows you hallucinate," Sivaine says quietly.

Harper says, "He knows I /did/."

"He.." Sivaine keeps her gaze steady, eyes slightly narrowed as if trying to make something out in the distance. "..you know. Harper."

"... What?" Harper is looking at Siv with a certain determination in his eyes. He's /getting/ that promise.

"You know that I can't see him." There. She said it.

Siv gets a very, very long look. "... I'd kind of figured."

Sivaine quirks a brow, twists the ring on her finger. "Well. All right then." That's good.

"I'm still waitin', Siv." His gaze is steady and Very Sane.

Sivaine says, "I told him. If it ever happens again, he needs to find someone. Not deal with it himself."

Harper's eyebrows go up. "... Well apparently he didn't get that, because... when I talked t'him he thought it was because of the fever." Which it was and it wasn't, but whatever.

"He'll believe what he wants to. And I wasn't that specific. I didn't /know,/ Harper." Sivaine is still edging around something.

"He's leaving soon. It's probably even for the /best/, I'll admit that, but the fact is he's leaving." Harper's rather adamant on that point. Where's the 'okay sure I promise', Siv? Come on!

Harper says, "So it can't hurt him anymore. So just."

Harper asks, "Okay?"

Sivaine looks past Harper to the sleeping form on the bed, and closes her eyes for a long moment. A muscle in her jaw tightens. "If it hurts someone else?"

"How often am I raving from fever?" Harper's brow furrows.

"It doesn't just happen when you're sick," Siv says.

"It doesn't hurt anyone but me when I'm /not/ sick," Harper shoots back.

Something, the sharpness of their tones maybe. Tam makes a noise and stirs just slightly, scut twitching.

Sivaine's ears splay back, and she glances at Tam again. "As long as that's true, then. Promise," she says, in softer tones. Hush.

Harper's ears twitch towards the bed. He glances back over his shoulder briefly, then back to Siv. He... nods. "Thank you."

Tam isn't awake - he stills again and his slow breathing doesn't falter. What interesting conversations he sleeps through!

Sivaine makes a little sound of acknowledgement. "I don't suppose you could sing something at the party?" she asks, rather out of the blue.

"... I could do that." Harper nods. "Yeah. Have anything in mind?"

Sivaine says, "I don't know. I figure you'd know some more appropriate.. Patrol songs?"

Harper nods. "All right. Yeah. I c'n come up with somethin'..." Wow, they went from Super Serious to Super Not in .03 seconds! That's a world record. He glances back over his shoulder again. "Yeah, somethin' good, I think."

"Something good," Sivaine agrees. There's a pause. "You know," she starts again. "Apart from that. I'd say you've done a good job."

Compliments are a confusing, scary thing. They confuse... and well you get the picture. "With...?"

Sivaine nods at Tam. "With him."

Oh. /Oh/. "... Thanks."

Sivaine quirks a funny little smile at him, eyes half-lidded. "You don't believe me."

"I believe I tried, and I suppose that's all I can say, isn't it?" Harper shrugs gently, head tilting back to regard the ceiling.

"..I suppose," Sivaine agrees. She glances at a dust mote left by a careless sweeper, and starts to rise.

Harper's eyes shift to Siv again. "... You've done pretty good too, you know."

Sivaine gives him a dubious look. "I thought I had no idea what it means to parent." Curse her memory.

"I seem t'recall I also said you pick it up, when you need it." His eyebrows go up. There's a small smile there, too.

"Have I?" Sivaine asks, considering the sleeping Tameus. She sounds doubtful, to say the least, and tugs one of her shirt cuffs into position. "I haven't the faintest idea."

"You have," Harper assures. He doesn't get up, just watches her.

Sivaine says, "Well. That's a step up, then." She starts for the door. "I should go. Ardice will need at least a day's notice, and it'll take me half that time to talk her down to something reasonable."

Harper chuckles softly. He grins. shaking his head. "... Right. Try to make sure she doesn't traumatize anyone with this'un."

Sivaine snorts, paw on the door handle. "I can only do so much. Working miracles isn't a promise I'm willing to make."

Harper nods. Waves a paw at her. "Yeah, yeah."

"It'll be edible and completely appropriate to the situation. That's all I'm guaranteeing." Siv slips out.