01.07.09 - I Know What I Saw

Location: Redwall Healer's Dorm

Characters Involved: Harper, Tameus, Sivaine, Gero

Gero comes in with a huge stack of parchment. The mouse peers out from over it and quietly knocks waiting before he can step in..since the door Is not locked...thanks to someone >.>

Tameus is tucked in against Harper's side, asleep on the edge of the bed.

Harper is curled on his side in bed! His eyes are open and he's staring, listlessly, at the wall. He doesn't quite react to the knock, his ears giving only a sluggish twitch. One arm is draped over Tam's side. Idle snug!

And Sivaine is not here! Not that you'd expect her to be. It's not like she's dating the guy.

Gero slowly comes into the room. He speaks quietly as he sets the parchment down somewhere. "harper..." he asks quietly. "Are you awake?" and he's careful not to wake tam..

Harper's ears give another twitch. He doesn't move for several seconds - then, slowly, his head lifts, turns. Looks at the Novice. ".... Mm," he mutters. Yes, he's awake.

Gero smiles just a bit. "how are you feeling?" Thats a loaded question.

Tameus stays asleep. This should surprise no one, he's completely exhausted.

"... Great," he croaks. Ribbit-ribbit. He lifts his arm very carefully from Tam's form, going to sit up a teensy bit. He grimaces.

Gero slowly nods and goes to put a paw to harper to try to keep him laying down. "stay laying down...you dont need to sit up...I just have something to give you" he says.

Tameus's ears give a slight twitch as the weight of Harper's arm is lifted from him. He doesn't waken.

Harper couldn't manage to sit up, anyway! His eyes drift shut and he grimaces. Sighs. "... Kay." He's too exhausted to ask what - he assumes that will come without him asking!

Gero nods and slowly stands properly again before going over to the parchment. The mouse sets it all down next to harper's bed, slowly pulling off the top page. "the dibbuns made pictures for you" he says, holding up the first one of a rather crudely drawn harper and a squirrel with some Really messy text that can be read as /got...wheel...soon/

Harper's eyes open and he gazes silently at the drawing for a moment. His muzzle twitches in a very faint smile. "Tell 'em I said..." His eyes close again, "Thanks."

Gero nods. "Harper, you can tell them yourself when you get better" He smiles a bit, slowly stacking the pile of parchment back onto the table that's not being used. "I made one for you too" He holds up his picture of Harper and tam..its badly drawn but the text is readable. and it reads /you'd better be well soon/ he gives harper the chance to view it if he wishes before setting it with the others. "I do hope you feel better soon...Its not the same with out you up and about trying to fight this thing"

Harper's eyes open again, half-lidded, to look at the newest drawing displays. Again that ghost of a smile. He... bows his head. "M'gonna try... M'tryin'. T'feel better." His voice isn't much above a whisper.

Gero is a mouse so a whisper still is heard. he doesn't have to dishes on his head for nothing. The mouse goes over and places a paw softly on harp's shoulder. "You will...you will..." he says, still keeping his voice low as not to wake the sleeping Terror known as Tameus. "do you want or need anything?"

Harper shakes his head slowly. "No... no, m'okay," Harper murmurs. His brow furrows and his eyes close, with a faint grimace. "... Thanks, Gero."

Gero sighs and nods. "Harper...Dont worry, you'll be fine...I promise" he smiles a bit. "How's he doing?" he asks, giving a nod to Tam.

More worried and stressed than a dibbun should have to be. But that's too much to say! "He's a tough'un," Harper rasps.

Gero nods a bit. "That he is. If you need some beast to watch him while your still sick, let me know, alright?" he says, trying his darnedest to be helpful.

"I think... someone's a'ready doin' that," Harper muses. Aheh.

Gero chuckles a bit. "You know what i mean" he smirks a bit. "Anyways. I should get back to work. Helping the sick seems to be a never ending job here" he says. And at this point in time, he's glad he took an arrow in his lung a while back...means his breathing is less than it should be..much less...so chances are smaller, but not by much, of him getting sick...though, little does he know, Its not as small as he thinks.

Tameus gives a soft, sleepy 'nn' noise.

Harper's body tenses as he coughs - but it's weak. You get to a point where there's not energy left to even cough. He nods, after it's passed. "... Yeah, yeah, well. Work hard for me, mate."

Gero nods. "I will...And Next time I see you, you'd better be up and about and eating like a hare should" he smirks a bit, giving harper a VERY gentle pat on the shoulder before slowly heading out. "And I'll tell the dibbun's thank you for you" he says before he's gone

Another groggy sound comes from Tam; prelude to waking, maybe.

"Novice Gero. Haven't seen you in a while," Sivaine mutters, stepping aside to make room for the other mouse as she passes through the door.

Gero stops as he is talked to by sivaine. "no...I've been around. Been busy...Working hard you know..." he smiles a bit. "I'd talk more but I must be going...the Dibbun's drew harper pictures if you want to take a look" He points to the stack of parchment before he finally vanishes

"Mnh. Don't get sick," is Sivaine's cheerful response. She looks.. tired. Haggard, almost, and that furrow in her brow is close to becoming a permanent fixture. She nods absently at the parchment stack, but her focus is on the curled-up form of Tameus.

Harper's ears give a half-hearted perk at Sivaine's voice, but he doesn't stir from his side-lying position. His eyes do partially open, though. Wall-staring!

Sivaine may be watching Tameus, but her peripheral vision catches that little flicker. Her eyes narrow ever so slightly. The mousemaid pads closer, absently scruffing some headfur back with a huffed sigh that catches midway and turns into a series of coughs she has to stop and take a moment to recover from.

No more noises from the leveret, and he stays asleep.

Harper's shoulders jerks with breathless coughing... he rolls inward towards the mattress. Grimace.

From her doubled-over position, Sivaine raises her head, then cautiously straightens up. "Hh." She moves the rest of the distance and comes up beside Tam, who she looks at for a while. "Keeping your promise, Harper?" she quietly rasps.

"... Are you?" he murmurs. His body tenses, as if in preparation for another coughing fit, but it doesn't come.

Sivaine just raises a brow. "Which one."

"The one... where..." He sighs. "Stayin' outta things."

"That wasn't specifically a promise," Sivaine points out. "In this case, I'm on orders from Darcy to watch him, because he locked you in and I had to break the lock last night." Her voice, when next it comes, has gained a layer of ice. "You hit him."

"That's not what I..." He shudders. "What I meant." This newest information is followed by silence.

"You hit him," she repeats. "You, or someone like you."

"Don't... remember," he murmurs weakly. "... What?"

"No, I imagine you don't," Sivaine murmurs. "Harper," she says sweetly, and if that doesn't tip him off he's a lost cause, "Who's Rep?"

There's an even longer silence. "... What?"

Tameus's ear gives a slight twitch.

"Rep," Sivaine repeats, still in that cloyingly sweet tone. "A friend of yours, I think?"

"... Used t'be." Another silence. "What happened, Siv?"

"You were awake. You were walking. You said you were fine, that you needed to get back to work." At least she's stopped sounding like a treacle pudding, but she's shifted into that smooth, low, almost /sultry/ murmur of hers. "The rest I.. heard through the door. You fell. You were screaming. 'Fire' and so on." A brief pause. "Tam was crying, Harper. Sobbing. /Keening./ 'Daddy please no Daddy no you promised no Daddy please.'" Does the cool way she rattles off that plea make it worse? Maybe. "He says you hit him. He says you told him to shut up."

If his eyes aren't already closed, they are now. He doesn't remember /any/ of this. "Next time I'll make sure t'... t' stab 'im with hot pokers. Complete the 'Harper's an evil arsehole'..." What's the word he's looking for? "... Concept. Thing. Yer really-" He /tries/ not to shudder. Triestriestries. "Really sellin' it."

He can't see it, but Sivaine's brow lift with glacial slowness, arching high and ironic. "When did I ever say you were evil?"

Harper snorts. Laughs. "... Go 'way, Siv." Odd echo of Tameus last night, eh eh?

Sivaine's ears twitch, and her eyes half-lid. She folds her arms in front of her. "Sorry. I said I'd stay." A humorless smile curves across her muzzle. Her tone drops to something gentler. "And sulking is bad for your health."

"Then... shut up," and this time he /is/ speaking to her, nothing imaginary /there/.

Her eyes narrow consideringly. "You don't remember any of it, do you."

"... Bonus o' bein' near-death, I guess. Yaaaaay me..." But he can't keep up the wry tone of voice - takes too much energy. He shudders, falls silent. Sweat has popped out on his brow.

Sivaine's whiskers twitch; a corner of her mouth deepens. Carefully, so as not to disturb Tam, Sivaine has a seat near the headboard. Someone - a rushed novice, maybe - left a snow-cooled cloth folded on the bedside table with a small bowl of water. It's little less than room temperature now, but Sivaine wets the cloth, gets the worst of the drips out, and uses it to mop Harper's brow with a sort of brusque gentleness. "He thinks that when you get well, the hallucinations will go away," she murmurs.

Harper closes his eyes as the cloth touches his furrowed brow. There was something there, though, just a flash - unutterable sadness. "Siv, would you just... just..." But he falls silent, leaves off on that. His words are whispery, dead-sounding. "That'd make sense."

Tameus's body stretches out a little from his curled position, toes of his bare feet flexing, head pressing to Harper's side with the motion.

"It would, wouldn't it," Sivaine replies briskly; she lays the cloth back in the bowl to soak. "But life usually doesn't, and a lifetime of stories has made me a suspicious thing. And you've done it before," she continues, absently drying her paws on her pants and folding them in her lap. "When Tam fell off the crutches. .. When Zade kissed me, maybe. Hm." Her gaze flick to the ceiling for a second; she can't resist an eye-roll before turning serious again. "I know what I saw now."

"Nnhmgh," Tam mumbles into the sheets, muzzle pressed down into them.

A tremble runs through his form, his head turning into the mattress. His throat aches, but for a reason that is entirely other than sickness. "Shut up. Shut /up/..." His mind rails against the unfairness of this conversation when he is so much. Less. "T'hell with you, t'hell with what you /think/..." He is speaking quickly, a gaspy whisper.

"You have no idea what I think," she murmurs.

"Don't care what you think," Harper all but snaps.

Sivaine has adopted that impassive, statue-like expression. "Really. Then it won't matter if I tell you, will it?"

Harper's breath has grown shallow, accompanied by occasional gasps. "Shut up, Siv... Jus'. Jus' shut up..."

She doesn't shut up. When does she ever listen? In fact, she leans in close to his ear. "I think," she murmurs, "that you have a little boy who loves you more than anything."

Harper has two, but that's beside the point! Or, well. Maybe two. Anyway! He brings an arm up, cradling his head. He doesn't say anything.

Sivaine sits back again, just watching. "Children don't get to choose their parents under the normal circumstances, you know," she comments. "Think of how the birth rate would drop if they could. But he chose you - over and over again."

Harper's eyes are tightly shut. He hears everything, but for the moment the only response from him is his hitching breath. His chest gives little heaves with it.

Sivaine's paw lifts and sets down gently on the buck's shoulder. "Harper," she says quietly. Breaks off into a ragged cough.

Her cough? Somehow makes him feel a fraction better, somewhere in the back of his mind. His ears only twitch, no more no less.

And then. Tam coughs.

It takes her a moment to get over it, and when she speaks again her voice is raw and painful. "Do you-" She breaks off. Stares at Tam.

Harper's eyes shoot open, getting the sort of reaction that none of Siv's talking could get. He looks. /Extremely/ alarmed. "... What was that," he croaks.

Tameus snuffles sleepily against Harper.

Sivaine watches the leveret like he's going to explode. "You can't get this a second time, can you?"

"... No. No. No, it-" Relapse? "... Hasn't been takin' care-a himself... Not eatin'. Not- not sleepin'," he gasps. Quietly. Er.

"No, he hasn't been," Sivaine confirms, eyes creasing at the corners. "He's staying up to take care of you. I've debated force-feeding, but that might be a bit much." A pause, then. "Still want me to stay out of things?"

No more coughing from Tam; he stays asleep, a little curled, hand near his muzzle. His fingers flex and curl into a loose fist.

"... Not the sort o' thing I- I meant." He grunts. "Meant /me/... me things." He's purposefully keeping his eyes shut. Lalalala.

Lalalalala, can't seeee you. That's right.

"They're not just 'me things' when they affect /him,/" Sivaine replies, watching the kit fixedly now.

Maybe it was a false alarm. Tameus just ... sleeps. Maybe not the most restful sleep ever, but he's quiet.

"You don't- you can't just- it doesn't work tha' way..." Harper grunts, gritting his teeth. The smell of sick just sweats off of him. It's rather unpleasant. "Everything t'do with me has t'do with him... And that's... /not/ yer place." He's really making an effort, here.

"I thought I told you. I don't have a place." Sivaine's tone is light, dancing over the words; her nose twitches, but she says nothing about it. "Everywhere I go isn't my place- well." She glances at her paws for a moment. Then she huffs a sigh. "You were my friend before anything else, Harper."

And it comes again; two soft little coughs from the leveret, one after another, then quiet.

There's a very long silence following the two coughs. His ears twitch, perk slightly. He turns in toward the mattress, grimacing. Ignoring, ignooooring... When he speaks, it is very, /very/ softly. "... All you ever make m'feel... is what's wrong." He gives a very small shudder, almost cringingly.

Sivaine has to lean in to listen, and when the words register her ears fold back, her eyes close, her mouth downturns in an unhappy line. "Well." Her voice is ever so slightly huskier than a sore throat should be. She sits back up. "Well." Her gaze drifts to the bookshelf. "..I thought you said you couldn't hide anymore."

Then, quieter. "Why."

"How."

"... What?" Question words!

"How," Sivaine repeats. "Do I make you feel."

Sivaine says, "And why."

Tameus draws a breath. Exhales it. He has a wide range of sleep noises!

Harper breathes in deeply as he can, which really just isn't, and breathes out in a wavery sigh. She sounds husky... he sounds downright. Tearful. Too weak to be strong. "Like... everythin' I do is a little... Little failin'. Like nothin' I do c'n be righ'..." He gasps in what passes for a lungful. "I'm dyin'... 'ell, I might live, but that doesn't mean m'not dyin'," and there's a certain logic to that. "But all you have t'say is... is..." Wrong. Bad. Not good enough. He chokes on his words. "I know ya don't care fer me the way..." Vague gesture, "But how c'n you... c'n you care so little?"

Silence, for a long time. Sivaine's ears don't even flicker. Then she turns, slowly, oh so slowly, and gazes down at him with a very complicated expression. "What- hhk." Her words are stifled by another string of coughs; she hunches over, shoulders spasming. "What," she goes on with what voice she has left, "makes you think I don't care when I'm sitting right here?"

"Rrr," Tam grumbles against the sheets. "Hh. Rr."

"You're here fer /him/... You love /him/," and the emphasis is key. Harper's throat is issuing little wheezing, whistling sounds, at this point. "T'make sure I don't... what. Go crazy 'n' hurt him. That's what ya thi-" Harper falls silent at Tam's mumbling.

"Maybe I'd prefer if you didn't hurt yourself as well," she says quietly.

"Hheh.." Tam makes a noise close to a chuckle, but raspy, airy. He snuffles and mumbles, "Rr." Silence, then. "Rr-Rep."

Harper goes very quiet a moment, silently considering. There's a knit in his brow, his lips forming a thin line. "Why'd you talk me int' doin' it, Siv? Why? I knew I shouldn't... /Knew/ it... Why'd ya have t'make me think I could-" A reeeally big shudder shakes him, this time. He grips at his head, but stabilizing yourself to yourself when you're the one shaking doesn't really work so hot.

Sivaine reaches forward, still with that calm, smooth face that belies no emotion. Gentle but firm hands grip his upper arms and hold him steady. "Because I didn't know. Because he chose you," she tells him honestly. "Because I think maybe you still can."

Sivaine says, "I dropped my sister on her head, you know. And I hated her. Every day, I hated her."

"Words 'ave power... ya said it. He woulda been okay, but now..." There's barely any breath behind it. It's almost just his lips moving. The shudder doesn't go away. Miserably, "... What?" This is too the latter part, clearly.

"I hate her," Sivaine says evenly; she looks directly at the buck while she holds him still. "I hate her laugh, I hate her smile. I hate her talent. I hate the way she leads boys on and doesn't feel anything for it. I hate-" Her eyes squeeze shut and she gulps. Coughs. "I hate that Mother loved her." Bitterness, there, black as pitch and sour as galls. Sivaine releases a breath. "But I love her too. Didn't you tell me that if I loved him, it would be all right?"

Harper listens very quietly - or as quietly as he can be, minus the various bells and whistles of sickness. "... Yeah. Yeah, I did."

"So," Sivaine says. "Maybe you should take your own advice. And remember what I said about screwing up."

"And not," she adds, "the part about kicking your arse."

Tameus shifts, stretches out his legs. He's nearly on his belly, muzzle rubbing into the sheets, then pulling open in a brief yawn. ".. y's 'm T'm," he sleep-mumbles.

A shadow crosses Harper's face and he shakes his head, firmly one way and then the other, as if banishing something. "... I need t'sleep," is all he says.

"Harper." She doesn't let him go.

"Nnh," Tam mutters, tosses a little. He ends up twisted, partially on his back, eyes still shut. ".. nn-nn, no, 'e.." He coughs.

Sivaine says, "I'd have forgiven her anything if she loved me."

"... I don't /want/ him..." Weary sigh. "T'have t'forgive..."

Tameus's lashes flicker.

"Too late," she says quietly.

A low, airy note slides out of him. Then Tam's eyes open.

Silent tears roll down his cheeks. A shuddery breath is all that issues forth. Can he sleep, now?

"Harper," Sivaine says again. "He loves you."

"Mmh-hh," Tameus huffs, and his eyes shut again. He shifts, tucks his muzzle against Harper's side. Half-awake, one hand grasps at the Brother's shirt.

"So it should be all right." She sits back carefully, watching him and his son.

Should is not will! But Harper... whether he /willed/ it or not, he has fallen off, drifted mercifully into unconsciousness, again. A final tear rolls down his cheek and then no more.

And Tam - Tam is still asleep, not having ever fully come awake. He curls in closer to the body heat of the older buck with a little, childish crooning sound, grasping the fabric in his fingers.

For a while, Sivaine's still and silent. Then "Nathan," she murmurs, rubbing tiredly at her eyes. The mousemaid rises, nods ever so slightly to herself, and slips out. A cough announces her exit.