A Conversation Long Overdue - LP 8/28/21

Ol'random · 2021-09-04 01:52:36 PM

(RP'd last Saturday)

Sgt. Felicity & MStg. Terrence, hares.

Felicity is completely healed from the injury she sustained while MIA (and that she accidentally worsened while defending the non-combatants during the siege). She has returned to her normal duties. She has continued her big sister duties, as well as her hobbies, mainly reading and sewing. What she hasn't returned to, however, is her relationship with Terrence. And it's been enough time that, while she still thinks she was mostly right, she also is pretty sure breaking up with him was a bad decision. But she doesn't feel right saying so. She has no one to give her relationship advice, after all. So the Sergeant is in the archery range, working on a new skill: knife throwing. The doe has one foot on the line and the other slightly behind, shoulder-width apart. She holds the knife by its handle at eye level, aims, then throws. THUNK! The knife joins 3 others, point into the centre of the bulls-eye.

The reason that Terrence came into the range at that moment was to prepare the room for a general exercise. The mountain has been cleared of nearly all traces of the recent attacks, and now he wished the hares of the Patrol to get back into the swing of things fully. They've been short staffed in the battalion in truth; between the death of his only active corporal, the rehabilitation of the major, and the disappearance of the lieutenant the master sergeant has been stretched thin to say the least. And of course there was the matter of Felicity but he hadn't really the time until recently to reflect on THAT.

And oh, there she was.

Pausing on the threshold for moment and weighing options in his mind, he then steps in and goes about his normal preparations with a polite nod to the sergeant.

Felicity is about to throw her 5th knife when Terrence crosses her peripheral vision. Her throw is off due to her distraction, and it hits the target flat-on and bounces off with a resounding clang that reverberates along the knife until it hits the floor with a clatter. Scowling, she mutters something to herself about focusing better. Going forward, she gathers up her knives, having to jiggles the ones in the target up and down in order to get them loose. "Terrence," she replies, nodding politely. She has no idea what to say to him, and the turmoil inside of her only grows as she walks back to the line, struggling to think of what to say.

"Sergeant Felicity." He dips his head again, repeating the formal words he usually says to her in as of recently. Gathering a set of loose arrows left behind into a quiver he slings it over his back and brings it to a table at the end of the range. Then he repeats, and repeats - the silence is exactly uncomfortable to him as he prefers it when he works, but he can't deny the odd feeling in his gut.

Setting the last of the quivers down he allows himself to watch her with the knifes.

"Eh, Felicity -" He breaks the silence as politely as he can. "Are you currently on duty?"

Felicity has thrown all of her knives with perilously accurate skill by the time he asks his question. She had been trying to ignore both the silence, the buck, and the turmoil in her spirit and instead focus on her weapons. It had mostly worked, although she couldn't deny the anxiety building in her chest as she ignored her feelings. She turns and gives him her attention, shaking her head. "No, I was given th'rest o' th' day off aftah teachin' th'leverets this mornin'." Surely he heard about the Paint Covered Yarn Incident from this morning. "I was told I needed aftah tha'."

* "I was told I needed a break aftah tha'."

"Oh. Understandable."

He'd heard enough to get the general picture. "I hadn't realized you had a paw in that. Well, I couldn't have guessed - you got out much more unscathed than Attenborough did, I'll tell you that. He showed up to the noon meal with the string in his ears. Couldn't hear any questions until aftah I'd left, I'd wageh. Just kept yelling wot." While talking he had been taking out both bows and bow string to bring to the table, setting the weapons neatly in a row.

"Well then. Felicity - eh, well, how have you been?" He asks carefully, wary of her response. "Outside of this morning, of course."

Felicity smiles slightly. "Th' leverets seemed to take tremendous delight in torturing th' poor bloke, I must say." When he asks his question, though, her smile fades, and she unintentionally stiffens. "I've been...alright, I guess." She pauses, desperately wishing for the thousandth time her mother was here to give her advice. "Been...been missing bein' able t'talk...guess we both kinda ruined tha'."

Nodding, Terrence doesn't immediately answer - mulling over the words. When he does speak, though, he cannot hide the sigh.

"Perhaps so, yet I stand by what I've said, Felicity."

"An' I stand by th'fact tha' Zolomon wasn't tryin' t'get inside th' Mountain, an' 'e was about t'leave since 'e saw I was safe when y' 'ad 'im surrounded an' shot at foh no reason. I wasn't tryin' t' 'ave 'im let inside, I was tryin' t' get y't'let 'im leave in peace!" Felicity is staying where she is, so there is some distance between them. The more she continues, the more she emphasizes her words with gestures. "'Onsetly, I don't think 'e would've engaged wi' y' at all if y' 'adn't done tha'! All 'e was doin' was gettin' me safely back 'ere afore 'e went on 'is way. But y'didn't even look at th'facts, y'just let y' 'ate foh 'im cloud y'reasonin'."

"We did have to identify you two." Terrence's jaw tightens. "Do not mistake my reasons. What if you calling out to let you in was because the vermin had a knife to you'h back? I doubt you'd call out, but bettah safe than sorry. And need I remind you it was him who continued the behavio'h that was unacceptable? He has attacked and put hares at risk and actively wounded othehs - of course I'd be bloody well cautious around him, as he's little bettah than vermin. And his behavio'h that night showed little change. In fact, he said much the same." As he spoke he got louder and louder, though now he takes a deep breath.

"I wasn't the one who banished him." He hissed. "Remembah that."

Felicity, too, is getting more angry. "Are y'not 'earin' me? I'm not arguin' 'is banishment! 'E 'as t'deal wi' th'consequences of 'is actions, an' that means 'e can't evah come 'ere again. 'Tis faihr since 'e did such terrible things. But y'didn't need t'keep 'im 'round aftah y'identified 'im! Y'could've let 'im go in PEACE without shootin' at 'im or even bandyin' words wi' 'im beyond tellin' 'im t'go! Thah was no reason foh y't'even speak t' 'im at all othah than t'calmly remind 'im 'e's not allowed in th'Mountain! Whot on Eahth possessed y't' do tha'? 'Tis th' quickest way t'make enemies, an' I guarantee if y' do tha' again t'somebeast, we could very well see that beast again in a few seasons, leadin' a 'orde 'ere t'get revenge on ya."

"I could have, perhaps." Terrence shrugs. "As fo'h what possessed me to do that -" The master sergeant closes his mouth, casting his gaze down the range. His jaw tightens again. "You did say I should be glad to see him again. Even many of the hares he scared and hurt only recently dead. My hares. Saving you cannot wash what he did away."

Letting another sigh escape him he shakes his head.

"Shooting at him - I said it clearly then, it was a warning. What is the purpose of a banishment if one is allowed to wandah up to ou'h very gates? O'h so I'd thought. But it's done now, and I don't feel remorse fo'h it. Anyone who treated myself - o'h anothah hare - the way he has I would treat the same, I think. Yet it's Zolomon -" one of the first time he's said the name since the ex-sergeant was banished - "Who happens to be the one who broke ou'h trust."

Felicity watches him. "Wha' 'e did was wrong. I don't disagree. But I also know what 'tis like t'be lost inside y'own 'ead like 'e was, an' prob'ly still is, fah as I know. An' I also know what 'tis like t'lose those y'cahe about. My mothah, fathah, brothah, an' uncle were all murdered. I was kidnapped by m'uncle's murderah, an' did any Patrollah come t'find me? NO. I was saved by m'friend Rioko -- who's a vixen, which according t'many Patrollahs means she should be shot on sight. But even though I sought justice an' killed Uncle Flint's murderer, I still forgave. I chose t'not let whot tha' monitah an' the pirates tha' killed m'family control me. I refused t'seek revenge. I forgave so I could be free. An' I also forgave Zolomon. Which allowed me t'let 'im save m'life. I forgave so I wouldn't be the slave of those who 'urt me, so I wouldn't let th' past control m'present actions or futah behaviah." She pauses to gather her thoughts and her breath.

"And here's the thing, though - if it was just me that was affected and bore the brunt of what he did, then yes, I could forgive him." Terrence shrugs. "But I cannot forgive what he did to others. As fo'h what he went through - yes, he lost a friend. Yes, it's sad. But that cannot excuse his behavio'h." Running his paws over his head he adds, "Perhaps if he wasn't a sergeant it wouldn't have been so bad. But he failed the hares undah his command and endangered them. It's funny that you mention that vixen - and how the Patrol want to shoot them on sight - the reason there was trouble in the first place was because he wanted to kill all the vermin in Halyard, starting out with the ones who were helping us. Fo'h what? Because they happened to be nea'h him. He was making trouble and tried to get innocents killed. It doesn't mattah if his reasoning, Felicity, is because he lost a dea'h friend - he endangered those hares and friends around him, including myself. Goodness knows I tried to talk to him and calm him, but he refused to listen. I should have protested him coming along at all, but I didn't. I was scared he'd hate me more, and that it would seem to others I only did it because of my own history with him. And..."

Closing his eyes, he continues.

"I had hoped he'd grown enough to do his duty, no mattah his loss. I expect the same of you, and myself. My fathah was killed and so was my brothah. And so was Reuenthal, and now Greenhill - and we all believed by that night you and Zolomon showed up that the majoh Varus was killed, too."

"Then y'goin' t'be controlled by whot 'e did an' 'ow it 'urt ya fohevah." Felicity shakes her head. "Yeah, 'e lost 'is best friend...aftah losin' 2 -- TWO does who 'ad promised t'marry 'im, losin' 'is fam'ly in some way, an' I believe 'e was also at Redwall during the siege of Marek when we lost so many 'ares." Her face fades to blank. "But I guess nobeast 'ere will evah undahstand whot 'tis like t'lose y'mind 'cause o' somethin' tha' 'appened an' not knowin' if y'll evah find y'way out again." She turns back to the target and starts retrieving her knives.

"Perhaps not." He's been saying perhaps a lot today. "But that doesn't change what he did. How many times do I have to say that? I wish he was allowed time to breath and to mourn but he didn't. As fo'h the faithless does - I was there fo'h him during that, as I fully admit I did feel guilt fo'h well," his face flushes ever so slightly red, "What happened between the three of us. But no mattah...."

Terrence tilts his head up, leaning back on the table. "Felicity - you said earlieh hate clouded my mind, and many othahs whisper the same. Angah certainly did - and does - but know this: I do not hate Zolomon. He had my trust, I would say, but he broke that. It isn't a mattah of hurt, no. In fact, if we just lived in a village and not the fire mountain, I would seek him out and bring him back, and offah a fourth chance. But we don't. The Long Patrol requires a harshness fo'h good o'h ill. It isn't the ordah of Redwall; we are by nature of ou'h work are creatures of wa'h."

Felicity has returned to throwing her knives, but her ears still tilt to take in what he's saying. She's down to her last knife when he finishes speaking, and he can't see the tears springing into her eyes. "They may'ap I should leave th'Patrol," she says as she pauses. "Some question if I'm truly bettah, if I'm fit t'lead. An' if th'Patrol is s'possed t'be so full o' 'ate...then per'aps I'm not fit t'stay." She throws her last knife with such vehemence, it sticks deep within the target, farther in than she's ever stuck a knife before. She walks to the target and starts fighting to get the knife out, struggling to not cry.

Remaining quiet for some time before answering, he watches her. Yet Terrence remains were he is.

"That is something you have to answeh fo'h yourself, I think. There's cold comfort in that maybe.... Though I also don't think the patrol is fully of hate, just harshness. Think of it this way - it is one thing fo'h a wooden plank to break as it's only a mattah of taking the time to fix it, but if that plank broke as part of a bridge ovah a chasm?" He shrugs. "The privates and corporals - and even the recruits and those we protect, I'd say - are using that bridge, and I suppose we as officers - non-commissioned and otherwise - are the planks."

Felicity finally gets her knife out, then pulls the others out, too. "I try m'best...but I'm startin' t' wondah if those othahs are right. I'm jus' broken, nevah t'get bettah." She walks over to put the knives away, still trying not to cry, even as tears trickle down her cheeks. "I'm supposed t'go on duty an' do some papahwork -- apparently I 'ave nice penmanship." She doesn't head out quite yet, though.

"Felicity..." His tone is softer than anyone's heard for months. "I wouldn't start doubting yourself now. And if you want - take the whole day off, o'h not. Do as you see fit, and if there's trouble with anyone telling you to be on duty tell them to take it up with me. I do have the authority to tell people to take breaks, I should hope."

Felicity glances at him, then nods, wiping tears from her cheeks. "I'll...okay," she whispers. She then straightens herself up and tries to give him a smile. "I'm goin' t'spend th'evenin' wi' m'sistah. An'...thanks." Her smile seems a little less forced, and she heads off to find Julia.

Terrence nods slowly as she leaves, remaining there long after he's left alone. Then he lets out a sigh before finishing the preparations for the archery drill.

Last edited by Ol'random (2021-09-04 01:53:26 PM)

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#1 2021-09-04 01:52:36 PM

A Conversation Long Overdue - LP 8/28/21

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