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#1 2018-08-18 02:39:19 PM
- BlisaMarshmellow
- Member
- From: The State of Confusion
- Registered: 2016-12-14
- Posts: 1,380
A fox and a ferret walked out of a bar... (IC Fate of Marek TP log)
SCENE: Somewhere in the depths of Mossflower woods.....
CHARACTERS: Bandit, a male fox. Sarnith, a male ferret. Basilisk, a male whiptail snake.
LOG:
All roads lead to mossflower, a nameless poet once said. Although one doesn't normally travel those roads in the middle of the night, with only the light of the moon to guide them.
The tavern left far behind him, the fox seems to be all over the road, shuffling slowly in a quarter sober gait. The swift fox is anything but, his green kilt and sash unable to contain the sheer volume of vulpine gut that spills between his legs. His walking stick seems to bend slightly every time he leans on it. "Ha!" The fox waves a paw in the air, "Showed him, what for, wot? D-didja see the look on his face when I ate that last cake? Pure horror that was! Easiest bet I-I won all... w-weeeeeeeeeeek." The fox leans on his staff again, giggling maddly.
Not weaving quite as much as the fox Sarnith ambles along with a large clay jug haning from one paw. " Cake'ish? I's were'ds ter's busy'd showin'insh dem'sh der's righ' way'sh ah winnin ah run'ish ah drink'ish! " The ferret is rhythmically taking sips from the jug, waving it about and splashing the foul smelling grog about as he goes. " We'sh shhhould ged's der's on'd der's way'ish der's da place... wha'sh wash id? er... der's one vixen'ish place, wha'sh er? Zhuish? She'sh go'ds more ter drink'ish I'sh know'd! "
"Hsssss...."
From the depths of dark woods to one side of the road, reptilian eyes watch the pair come closer.
"Hssss...."
A slither foward. "Hssss......" the dapple of moonlight through the trees reveals the back of an extremly humoungeous whiptail snake only to those who know he is already there.
"Hssss......hungry, hsss......." The still young serpent moves forward and rests his head in (on) a clump of ferns.
Basilisk is hunting.
And failing.
The snake has been Blisa's pet for far too long, and has discovered that what should be instinct has left him. He literally for the life of him figure out how to hunt. He chased a weasel. He tried to bite a stoat. He even tried cajoling a fox (that didn't turn out very well for the reptile.) Basil is getting desperate.
Coiling up, he bunches himself, then lunges in front of the traveling pair, blocking the road entirely.
Because stealth it for wimps, right?
"Washn't that the vixen behind ... behind the bar. The one with the big... heh, heheheh hahahahah! The over grown claw? OH! Zhuish! I knows her!" The fox coninues laughing, grinning deviously as he does, "We should! We really should! Why thaths vixen deservs to have all her drinks... drunken and-"
His drunken triad is cut short as he walks head long into the reptile. He stumbles backward, nearly falling over in shock. Shaking his head, Bandit flusters his fur, "Now who went and put a perphectly good shnake out here in the middle of the road! A waste that is. Hey! You! ssshoo. Go on. Yer in me way..." he tries to shoo the snake out of the way, the few brain cells left sober in his head trying desperately to warn the others that there is a big giant snake in the way, and they should totally do something about that.
Sarnith also bumbles into the snake, sloshing grog all over his portion of it. Squinting, the ferret says " Yew'sh late! An der's wrong'd color! An der'sh wrong shape... " Trailing off for a moment the hob seems to be either thinking of running or possibly trying to run down his thought process... " Yew'sh was'h ser'shpose'd der's ah been'd baker'd der'ihs in der'sh bar when'd I'sh was'h flevendy drink'ish in! " The whole while the ferret is flailing his arms about, belittling the large snake and splashing grog all over the place. As a seeming after thought he mumbles " An yew'sh no'd invid... invid... invided der'sh da'sh dame'sh Zuhish'ish place! Is's da'sh clearish?! "
Hissing mightily, Basil goes to wrap his coils around the 2 vermin, trying to trap the stupid furries. "Ssssss, Bassssilisssssk doesss not sssshoo!! Sssss....." He puts his face in the fox's as the coils come tighter, his tongue flickering out and in a couple of times. Before he tries to crush them, however, the snake pauses. "Ssssss, Bandit? Fat foxssss Blisssa told me to not eat? Ssss....." The snake is obviously 1) ignoring everything the ferret said because he is impossible to understand (and why should he try to have a conversation with Dinner? Leave that to the golden eagle Riana, who chased him away from a rat just a few hours ago), and 2) wavering between whether or not he's going to actually eat the fox or not now that he recognizes him. It's still a bit of a toss up.
It is true, it is impossible to understand the ferrets thick, and drunken, accent. Maybe that's why Bandit got along with him so well... for the few hours he has known him.
But the ferret is not one Bandit would like to be press ganged against. "For the love of all that is holy, can't you take a bath ya crazy fert? You are going to make the snake sick!" The vulpine pauses to review what he just said. His head fwips to the right and left, realizing that he is about to be bound against Sarnith and in the coils of a whiptail.
There is little more sobering than the threat of death by snake, and the fox shouts, "Basil?" The color drains from his face. It's finally going to happen. He always told Blisa the snake was a bad idea. It was going to end up eating someone one day. Did she send it here to kill him in revenge for quitting so abruptly? "Basil! Snake! Snake! Basil! Ferret!" he begins to babble.
Sarnith looks at the snake trying to wrap him up in its coils, then down the neck of the clay jug, then over to Bandit, then back to the snake before saying " Hey'ish! I'sh said'ish der's yer'sh der'sh shew! I'sh all'sho belive'dish I'sh shaid I'sh wash allready'ish sheein shum one'd! Sho, if yew's don' led's me'ish go I'shll... " That's all farther the hob gets for the moment though because one of the wrapping coils gets around his drinking paw and causes him to (splash) himself with the jug of grog. The jug, a stout clay jug with thick walls loses the head on crash with the ferret. sending grog and pottery shards raining all over the tangle. Shaking his head about the ferret sees flying snakes and whiskey bottles chasing each other around his head for a moment before saying " Ah'sh, okish, jus'h one hug'ish, bud's if'ens dish ged'sh back'erds der's Kris sheesh will 'ave'ish my 'ide! " With that the ferret wraps his arms around a coil and gives it a hearty squeeze.
Basilisk tastes the fox again (well, they can't smell through their noses, so they have to taste everything). "Sssss, Bandit! Sssss, I ssssshould eat you. I haven't eaten ssssince...." The snake sniffles, then, keeping his victims prisoner in his coils, flops the front quarter of himself on the ground as he starts wailing and crying and whining loudly enough to let everyone in a half-mile radius know where he is. This may be why he's failing at hunting. "Blissssaaaa'ssssbeen sssssstolen by the sssstoat who conquered Ferravale!!"
~*To be continued....*~
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