The Friendly Little Game Is Suddenly Not So Friendly Anymore 8-29-2015 (An OOC Long Patrol and Halyard Log)

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This is the "what if?" OOC version of this log: http://rwmuck.limitless.org/rwmuck/content/friendly-little-game-part-2-i... You're welcome.

Hares: Felicity 'Lissie', female.

Foxes: Rioko 'Rio', female.

Wolverines (yup): Drakki, male.

Random spoofed corsairs and pirates and such: a whole bunch of who knows what :P

"Round 14! More biscuits!" The rat announces as he places another pile of biscuits onto the table. "Uh, boss. I think that won't be necessary." Says a weasel pirate off to the side. By then Rioko is slumped over her chair, head cast back in horror, oh the horror. Her poor stomach was so swollen her very fur was stretched to the max, leaving some skin exposed down her belly.

Prodding the fox for a reaction the weasel shrugs when Rioko does not respond. "I see...well then. Can you continue miss?"
The fox makes a muffled gasp. It's about as much of a reply she can muster, her belly so full it was crushing her very lungs apparently...that or biscuits had been filled up to her throat.
"Right, I'll take that as a no..." There is a general murmur in the crowd, mostly disparaging remarks from beasts who bet on the fox. "How 'bout you miss? Can you still continue?" he asks the hare.

Felicity had already grabbed 2 biscuits and started stuffing them in her mouth. She may have been wanting to vomit, but she would never lose! But then! Her ears droop as she realizes that the fox can't continue. Whoo, boy. The pirates that had bet on her give raucous cheers, slapping each-other on the back. Taking the half-bitten food out of her mouth, she says weakly, "Uh, um, I say, I do feel a bit ill..." "But she bit dem biscoots like thar was no tomorrer!!" the hare glares at the pirate supporting her. Not what she wanted. Not. At. All. At least, not quite like that.

The fox looks practically ill, and not just from the food piled high in her belly to the point that skin is starting to show on her gut. Rioko gulps as A rat places a paw on her shoulder, and gulps again when he shows off a cutlass in front of her.

"Aye, a fine battle indeed. If a bit odd. But fine none the less. And now comes the 'fun' part. What to do with this swill filled swine of a vixen." He chuckles darkly.

Felicity sits up straight, then gags and groans at the complaints of her food-filled belly. "No, don't kill 'er! I, uh, I've always wanted a slave to watch my baby sistah for me! I'm /sure/ I'll be allowed to keep her, wot!" She smiles winningly, hoping they'll let her take the fox as a slave. Which of course she isn't going to do, really. It was just the first thing she could think of.

I then, at Rioko's suggestion (that I thought was quite good), did the +roll-dice 1d6 command to see if the pirates went along with it: 6-5 they go along with Lissie's plan, 4-3, they reject her idea and begin to move on Rioko, 2-1, they try to kill them both. I rolled a 4. Oh, dear...

But the pirates, they wanted to see BLOOD, GORE, GUTS, and the horrible screams of foxy pain that would be associated with such! They are, after all, pirates.

"A hare? Having a slave? Ha!" The rat barks in laughter. Rioko tries to suck her gut in as the rat moves it closer, "I say we skin the mutt and hang her over our fire place."

"Let's turn her into a coat!"

"Feed her 'til she explodes!"

"Use her for target practice!"

The fox let's out a whimper. She struggles against her gorged self to move from the chair!

Okay, that did not work. Time for Plan B, which didn't actually exist until 3 seconds ago. When Plan A failed miserably. Lissie leaps up, drawing her sword at the same time, and jumps across the table, feet first, to try and knock the pirates over! When she lands on the floor, she's going to try to drag Rio away from the table to where she left her glaive.

"What are you doing!" The fox shouts as the rat is kicked to the floor. The pirates all shout for joy.

Now they get to kill them both!

The portly fox rolls out of her chair, picking it up as she does, and smashing it against the nearest pirate.

Felicity stabs a pirate in the chest, and he falls to the floor as good as dead. "I'm tryin' to 'ELP you, doofus!! Wot does it look like I'm doin' LOOK OUT!!" A corsair was about to slice open the fox like some kind of melon, but the hare just stabbed him in the gut, kicked his ugly face and saved the day! Again. Sort of. "Let's get outta 'ere! Get yer weapon EULALIA!" She shouts right before she bites another searat's ear.

The fox eeps as the pirate dies, thankful her guts will not be spilled, this moment at least. She kicks a beast in the shin then shoves him against the pirates in her way. She grabs the glaive at the bar and swings it, slicing open the tummy of one weasel and the chest of a rat in one swing. "Door. You. Out. NOW!"

"NOT WITHOUT YOU!!!" Lissie goes to grab the fox's upper arm with her left paw and swings her sword with the other, doing some serious damage on her opponents. She goes to then drag the fox to the door, fighting with all of the ferocity that the Long Patrol is known for.

The fox doesn't take much to convince that she should leave and quickly follows the hare. Unfortunately the tavern itself thinks otherwise. Filled to bursting with food the fox has grown too swollen to get her fat stomach through the door and get's stuck halfway through.

Outside the wolverine merchant Drakki looks up from his copy of The Halyard Harold to witness the hare and fox's flight. "Are you two...ok?"

Felicity eeps as she is brought to a halt by the chubby fox stuck in the doorway. Looking at the beast adressing them, she starts to stutter, "W-w-w-wo-wol-wol-wolve-wolve-wolver-wolver-wolverine-wover-eeeeeeeen!!!" Okay, yeah, she's basically terrified. She reads too many horror stories at night. "Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!!!" she is now hyperventilating. Perfect.

The fox continues to struggle against the door frame with pirates gathering behind her, "Please! Help me! Help me now! I don't wanna DIE!"

The wolverine outside raises an eyebrow to the fearful hare then to the fox. With a sigh and a shake of his head he folds his newspaper, walking calmly towards the pair. He picks Rio up by the scruff of her neck and pulls her out with a loud POP.

And then promptly shuts the door in the face of the pirates quickly approaching. "I see you have some trouble with pirates! If you come with me, I can hide you!"

The pirates inside start yelling angrily. Lissie, meanwhile, makes some incoherent hysterical adolescent girl sounds, sheathing her sword without realizing it, grabbing at Rio's glaive.....then faints. Collapses to the ground in a complete faint. She's out cold. Panic overloaded her brain, and this happened. And she's still in uniform, too.

"Or...you can do that." The wolverine sighs, then to the fox, "How about you? What is your feeling on wolverines?" Rioko replies with a high pitched scream.

"Right then." Slinging Rio under one arm he picks up Fel with the other and carries them off...

[After some time.....]

The smell of cooking fills the shop. It is a small shop filled with nicknacks and currios. Off in the back a beast can be heard humming to a tune as he goes about cooking. Rioko sits not too far away, lapping up some soup from a bowl. She is unbound and generally calmer now that the threat of pirates has passed.

Felicity is laying on her back on a thing that's actually big enough for her to lay on stretched all the way out. She is slowly coming to, which is evident by her groan as she rolls over onto her belly. She opens one eye, sees the vixen, and asks in a high pitched, mildly panicked voice, "Wherearewe???"

"Oh hey! You're awake!" The fox says while waving her paw. "We are in Drakki's shop. He uh, saved us from the pirates and is giving us a place to lay low."

"Indeed I am!" The wolverine pokes his head around the corner with a big, toothy smile. "Maybe you would like some soup? It will help with your tummy ache!" He says, drawing closer to Felicity and the cloth covered chest she is on. He is carrying a bowl of soup in both paws.

  • Insert arm flailing and falling off said chest.* Lissie peeks over the edge of the chest. "Um, what'sitmadeofthankyouforsavingusyouscaredmeIreadtoomuchsometimes...." She looks terrified, but she's trying to be brave and polite.

The wolverine takes a step back before offering a half hearted chuckle, "Carefull lass, we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself! And it's no problem. I get that a lot, you know, being a wolverine." He says offhandedly before handing Felicity some stew. "It's just a little concoction of mine. It's filled with fish, and shrimp and a few choice spices to give it a little extra 'kick'."

The fox nods her head, "It's good!" She says before her muzzle disappears into the bowl.

Felicity's ears are permanently plastered [flat down] onto her head. She carefully takes the bowl and looks at its contents. "But....okay." She will not look a gift stew in the, um, ingredients. She tastes it. "Well, um, w-wolverines do, um, 'ave, um, a, uh, certain /reputation/, y-y'know, wot." She takes another bite of the stew....is it super spicy???

It's as if the world is opened up to Fel. The taste of the stew can not be described in words. It tastes terrific! Wonderful! No wonder the fox is wanting a second bowl even after devouring the first.

"Hey, no worries." Drakki says with a tail wag. "Listen, the pirates should be gone by now but if you two ever want to stop by for lunch, or breakfast feel free. My door is always open."

Shut up and take my money. Lissie is in foodie /heaven/. Literally. HEAVEN for her taste buds. She takes the wolverine's words to heart, and will totally be coming back later....after her poor, swollen ankle is healed up.

.....she should ask for the recipe for this....or something.....

The wolverine chuckles. The hare need not say anything to show her appreciation for his cooking. Nothing the right amount of salt, pepper, and certain addicting plants can't accomplish. He turns for the kitchen, glancing at his cook book and smiles deviously. Yes, soon he can make the ultimate meal. He chuckles as he turns the book to Fox and Hare...

And unwittingly, our poor friends have no clue! In the 5-ish months that followed, what sort of withdrawal symptoms did Lissie have to endure as her ankle healed? Did Rio see that dastardly wolverine every day? And what on Earth is going to happen next??

Wouldn't you like to know? Bwahahahahahaha!

Until next time.

Thanks for reading this delightful OOC log :3

.....you're welcome.

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