A fox in the hand is worth more than two in the bush... Part 2

From Redwall MUCK Wiki


Vannon and Gnat confront the Bird Catcher. Things unpredictably go predictably wrong...

"Ok, so, we are clear on the plan right?"

The journey to the elusive Bird Catcher, a beast who's name Vannon either felt didn't deserve a name worth remembering or never bothered to find out, turned out to be shorter than expected. The squirrel house...hut really...shack. Was located in a small clearing of trees. It would be an Idyllic place to put a home had the owner kept up with repairs. As it was though the wood of the house had become bleached and warped, leaving many holes in the walls which leaned noticeably to the left.

Not too far away in a shaded area there were cages upon cages of birds, some kept in the trees some on the ground. They contained many sparrows, wood pigeons, even a robin or two. The noise they made was loud even to the beasts sneaking up to the cottage. Vannon crouched near some bushes at the edge of the clearing, peering intently at the smoke that was rising from the shacks single smoke stack.

"You know what you need to do?" The fox asked.

Gant is a little surprised by how close the mysterious Bird Catcher's shack is, though not really by the shape it's in. He's royalty, so he just sort of has these preconceptions about beasts that live in the woods. And sure enough, there are the birds, all locked up in cages waiting to be eaten.

"Yeah, I know what to do. Ye go free those birds, I'll distract him." Gant nods to the fox, then (not entirely) stealthily slips around to the front of the house, where he approaches the door with a nonchalant stride and gives it a good knock. This may not be the kind of distraction Vannon was hoping for, but then, Gant's not a very violent stoat.

The fox gives the stoat two thumbs up signs and urges him onward. The fox already spotted a burlap bag he could shove the annoying little critters into...to help them get free of course. He chuckled as he licked his chops then promptly dissapears into the brush.

The birds chirp loudly at the stoat's approach. "Set me free! Set me free!" "SQWAUK! Mea sparra warrior! Come here so I kana peck out your eyeays! Yeah! I derrie you to try and eat me!" "Sparra no want to be dinner! Please free us! Please free us!"

The chatter goes on long and loud enough for the knock to almost be drowned out by the noise. Until at least a loud, peircing yell booms across the clearing from inside the shack.

"SHADUP!" This is promptly followed by the sound of foot paws against wooden beams. They sound large, heavy. The door, rather lopsided and small, opens wide and for a moment it becomes impossible for one to see inside due to the darkness beyond...until they realize that is simply because something is blocking the light.

The bird catcher stoops and then squeezes his body through the door. Even lurched forward he seems to just...loom over the stoat. Stark white fur with his facial fur braided into a style of beard and dread locks. A body filled with muscle and yet scared by a poor diet, the Bird Catcher has a burly build with a thick pot belly and a short stubby tail. A brown otter hide vest clings tightly to his chest, the skulls decorating the belt at his waist seem to have come from weasels.

It's...hard to tell what the expression the bird catcher gives the stoat. Anger, annoyance, hunger? One thing is clear though. This beast is no squirrel...

This is a badger.

"Wot." The badger croaks in deep, grizzly voice.

'Wot' is right. When Gant catches sight of that badger looming over him, fearsome and covered in /are those weasel skulls/, all he can do is stammer unintelligibly while staring up at the Bird Catcher. His whole body is shaking uncontrollably, and for a moment he seems to be on the verge of fainting.

But, he gulps and manages to squeak out a greeting. "U-um, g-g-good day, s-sir. Yer s-sellin' b-b-birds for vermin t-to eat, yeah?"

But, he gulps and manages to squeak out a greeting. "U-um, g-g-good day, s-sir. Yer s-sellin' b-b-birds for vermin t-to eat, yeah?"

The badger raises an eyebrow...or rather one eye becomes larger while the other squints at him. THe entire beast reeks of that good old fashioned badger smell, which is impressivly drowned out by the smell of ale.

He seems to reguard the stoat for a long moment. As if deciding if Gant is worth the effort to try and sell something too...or stew. His collection of animal skulls is lacking a stoat...

A moment passes and the badger makes up his mind. He turns his bulky body back into the the shack only to later produce an ax. The blade is large, Viking in style with a wide heavy blade. There are feathers attached to the handle and notches made into the rusted blade. )

"What kin?" the badger pauses to take a deep breath, "You lookin fer?"

Meanwhile Vannon stealthily snuck his way on all fours into the coop. The birds of course made a horrible din when they saw a fox coming. Vannon could only hope his new found distraction could do his job right. He didn't hear much of a fight so...either the badger was passed out from the ale he could smell from even here, or the stoat had already been killed and grind-ed up to make his bread and very soon the fox would have company.

Regardless the fox made short work of the latches on the cages, reaching in and pulling the protesting bird before tossing them into his sack.

Well as big as the badger is, it should come as no surprise to anyone that Gant is /utterly terrified/. When the Bird Catcher goes back into the shack, Gant sighs a little as he thinks that maybe the badger just isn't interested in him and he can go about his day. But then he comes back with that axe...

Frankly, it's a miracle Gant didn't start screaming and running away. Maybe he found a hidden well of courage deep in his soul, or maybe he just realized that there's really no outpacing something with legs longer than your body and that could probably throw an axe like that further than you can see. So, while Vannon is getting to work on those birds, Gant takes a deep breath, composes himself, straightens his posture, and answers.

"Oh, I dunno. One o' those sparras, maybe. Noisy things. Annoying. Do yer other birds a favor an' shut 'em up, eh?"

It is fortunate for Gant that the fox can not hear over the din of birds that his partner in crime, the very beast he sent to distract him the badger from discovering the fox in his bird coop, had just suggested that they go towards the bird coop.

On the down side, Vannon could not hear this and continued day dreaming about how he was going to fill his gullet until he popped with roast bird, with bird stew, heck just raw at this point. The fox drooled as he stuffed in bird after bird into the bag.

The badger smiled at the comment, revealing a smiled filled with sharp yellow teeth. Flicking a speck of dust off the ax with his thumb he replied, "Sur. Sparra it tis. You. Wait here." The burly badger turned and began to move towards the cages...

Gant is not especially smart. This much is quickly being made apparent as, yes, the badger is now moving toward the bird cages. It takes a few seconds to hit the stoat just what he did wrong.

Gant says, "Oh, I meant to ask ye. Where'd ye get that axe? That's a very interestin' design." he calls after the Bird Catcher, hoping maybe he'll come back and show off the weapon. Hopefully, it won't be by testing its sharpness on his neck."

The badger stops and turns at the question. It is that moment that Vannon dares to take a peek over the side of the cages he is hiding behind. His eyes widen with fear, seeing the badgers back less than ten feet away. It is most certainly time to get out of here! But...there are so many more birds to collect. His bag could certainly fit one or two more...

The burly creature raises an eyebrow to the stoat. "Dis?" He asks, hefting the weapon high. "Some weasel. Siad he wanted to buy birds. But didn't want to pay. So he stabbed me in the back with it... Then I used it on him..." he left the fate of the weasel decidedly ominous, "Now it's mine."

The badgers brows furrow as if remembering something. "Speakin of which, how you plan ta pay?"

A cold shiver runs down Gant's spine at the tale, and he finds himself wishing that Vannon would just hurry up and get those birds out of here already, jeez! Then again, how would he know? They never did plan a signal or anything. In fact, the fox seemed pretty poorly informed, since this is most definitely not a squirrel.

It's almost like he isn't entirely honest or something.

This suspicion is pushed to the back of the stoat's mind, though, as he chooses to focus on the situation at hand. The badger is pretty clearly going to do something unpleasant to him if he doesn't pay, so he has to think of something quick. Scratching the back of his head with an uneasy grin, Gant mumbles a little bit while his brain scrambles for an answer. "Eheh, well, uh..."

Oh, yes! Reluctant as he is to even think of parting with such a useful weapon, Gant unsheathes his shamshir and holds it up where the badger can get a good look at it. It's certainly a fine blade; not decorative or elegant, but very obviously well-made and good at what it was made for: Combat. And again, it seems to be in very good condition, almost as if it's rarely used.

Gant asks, "How's this?"

The badger looked down at the blade and scoffed. "What dis? A toothpick?" He croaked in laughter, "You need girly hands to hold that weapon kid. What else you-" The badger's ears perked up when he heard a small crash from over by the cages. A bird had made a darring escape when Vannon had opened its cage. The fox had quickly pounced upon the bird and shoved it into the bag but not before it had bumped against several of the now empty cages.

"Did you hear that...?" The badger said. He looked even less pleasant when alarmed.

Gant huffs in frustration. That's the only thing he has that's in decent enough condition to trade! And besides, it's served him pretty well so far. But that's the least of his problems when all that ruckus comes from behind the shack, and he knows that things are going to get very, very messy. "Err, m-maybe it's just the birds? The sparras coulda picked a fight with the others..."

"Oh not again..." The big badger adjusted his belt over his pot belly and moved toward the cages, or more accurately lumbered. He didn't get close enough to see the fox hastily trying to drag the over filled bag away but he did get close enough to see that his cages were empty. "MAI BERDS!" The badger let out a great shout followed by a war cry. With almost uncanny speed for one so large the badger rushed to his cages. He pulled at his ears, jaw dropping in shock. "But how...who!" His eyes fell upon Vannon then who waved weakly and offered a toothy grin, "Uh...um...well you see..." The fox gulped. "Yeah I have no explanation for this."

The fox then yelped as he doges the ax being hurled at him. Dropping the bag the fox dashed under a cage as the badger moved into catch him. "Well don just stand THAR! Help me get him you dolt!" The badger shouted towards the stoat.

Darn, maybe that wasn't the thing to say. Gant's still racking his brains for distractions while he follows the badger behind the shack...and oh dear, now all Hellgates is breaking loose.

In the history of Mossflower, there have been thousands, millions of great ideas. Whether or not this is one of them is up to interpretation, but with a flash of inspiration, Gant figures out a way to kill two birds with one stone. Well, you know, metaphorically.

Leaping at the bag full of birds (which he has identified as such due to the noise and the moving bumps), he raises his sword and takes a great swipe at the sack, opening it wide to release its contents. All goes well, the chaos will distract the badger while Gant and Vannon make their escape, and the birds will go free! If not...well, they probably won't be alive long enough to regret it.

"Freedom!" Shouts a sparrow as it leads the charge. The birds simply disperse into the air and into all directions. The badger, who had grabbed the fox by the tail and was lifting Vannon up out from under the cages turns to see the commotion. His jaw drops as the birds scatter to the four winds. Releasing his grip on Vannon he falls to his knees.

The fox then promptly...lets his jaw fall open and fall to his knees in shock. That...that did not happen. No, this has to be some kind of horrible night mare. Any moment now Vannon will wake up and find his belly too swollen with food to move. He can almost taste each and every bird as it escapes, letting loose a soft whimper as he bites at his own tail.

The badger who actually worked to catch them is even more shocked Vannon realizes. His senses coming back to him the fox slowly edges away from the bird catcher, before breaking into a full out run.

"Mai....mai birds..." The badger stammers. His eyes narrow and his face distorts into one of abstract horror and anger. "MAI BIRDS!"

Gant is smart enough to duck, at least, while all those birds go sailing over his head into the sky. And he's also smart enough to realize that an angry badger means death, especially if they're afflicted with the Bloodwrath. He isn't exactly keen on finding out if this is one of those badgers.

Taking off after Vannon, Gant pounds the forest floor harder than he ever has, trying simply to put as much distance between him and the roaring angry giant as possible. There isn't enough wind in his lungs to speak, but he can sure feel it whipping around him with how fast he's running.

Reguardless of the badgers possibility of being afflicted by blood wrath he is angry enough to rip the beasts in two. The insults that echo through out the woods make Vannon even blush. The threats of bodily harm just make him queezy. The badger even threatened to strangle them with their own hides.

Thankfully though the badger is very fat and can only chase after them at a certain speed before finally pausing to catch his breath. Vannon, un-emcumbered by such problems continues to run for at least a mile before he finally stops to catch his own breath.

When he finally pauses the fox turns to his companion stoat with his own murderous glare. "You...you..." He approaches the stoat, eyes abalze with murderous intent. However the fox simply falls to his knees and whines loudly, "WhyyyyYYYYyYyyyYYYyYYyYYyyyy...."

Gant is, on the other paw, only spurred on faster by those threats, which makes up for the fact that he's wearing a steel breastplate that might be slowing him up somewhat. But they do finally get away, and as the two of them stop for breath, the stoat prince gives Vannon a puzzled look.

"What's with the look? I saved our hides, didn't I? An' I freed the birds too." he points out, though that suspicion from earlier is creeping back. Why /were/ they in that bag?

The fox tries to grab the stoat by either side of his breast plate. "You...You actually thought that I was there to free them?" His eyes shook with madness, "Setting them free was code for EATING THEM!" Still trying to cling to the breast plate he feel back onto his knees, tears rolling down his cheaks. "I was going to eat them..." The poor beast seemed to be in shock. "Two days...three hours, four minutes...that's how long its been since i had a good proper meal."

Gant is surprised by the outburst, but not as much as he may have been before. The pieces were already starting to come together, but as he's jerked forward by the fox grabbing his breastplate, they crash into place with a thunderous 'HE WAS USING YOU, YOU IDIOT'.

But hey, Gant can understand hunger. He doesn't know what plants are edible around here, so he's been forced to resort to robbing occasional passersby. But even those are few and far between.

"Hey, if I hadn't done that, yer belly wouldn't just be empty, it'd be stretched 'round yer neck." the stoat reasons, crossing his arms over his chest. A moment later, a thought occurs to him, and he continues, "But hey, let's go find that road again. If we follow it, we're bound to run into somebeast, an' ye can see if they have anythin' to offer...or steal."

This seems to get the fox out of his shock, at least slightly. "B-but you don't understand?" The fox began to stand up, slowly. Making sure his eyes were locked onto the stoats Vannon trembles as he speaks. "B-but...I'm hungry NOW...I n-need meat. MEAT! Those birds were filled with meat."

Letting go of the stoat the fox spins on his heel to shout and flail his arms about. "I could have been eating like a king for WEEKS. What ELSE is there to eat around here?! Huh? What? WHAT?!" As if an idea just appeared to him Vannon turns back to the stoat, his gaze is filled with something very...off, filled with...hunger. Vannon may be a scoundrel and a thief but, resorting to eating a sentient beast? He wouldn't!

Right?

Gant frowns at the fox's behavior. It seems that the shock of everything is catching up to him, and Gant isn't entirely sure he likes where things seem to be going. Thankfully, he still has his shamshir drawn after all that, so he has it at the ready to stop Vannon if he tries anything...

Gant asks, ""Look, roads always lead somewhere, yeah? I don't like eating things that talk back to me, but ye can probably find a home or two along the way. Don't make me cut yer fool head off." He probably doesn't mean it. But then again, when faced with a desperate fox..."

The fox however laughs at this statement, "Oh no, nonnonononono, I am not going to do anything to harm you." Gently trying to push the blade out of the way with the tip of his claw Vannon plainly states, "How would you be able to help me replace all the food we just lost if I did something foolish like that." His paws were shaking, but if by anger, insanity or desperation it was unclear, "And you're right, all roads lead somewhere. And as long as they do, there is always hope, r-right?" With that the fox simply steps past the Gant, his ear twitches as he continues down the road.

Pausing to turn back and growl he shouts, "Well, are you coming or not?"

Gant still isn't /entirely/ trusting of the fox, but he does sheathe his sword before following after Vannon. Worst comes to worst, he did learn a little bit of wrestling back on the island. With a deep breath and a long sigh, the stoat nods. "Yeah, I'm followin' ye. I'm just as hungry..."

_______

Gant

Gant is a dusty brown stoat of slightly above average height and a notably underfed build. He generally has a twitchy, paranoid air about him, always checking over his shoulder for signs of danger. His fur is typically messy in appearance, but for the most part kept clean of dirt, twigs, food particles, and blood. Covering his chest is a simple, single-piece, smoke-darkened steel chestplate, and he wears a tattered dark blue bandana on his head and a pair of worn green trousers. His footpaws are unclad, any footwear he may have owned long since abandoned. The only visible possession of his in relatively good repair is the curved sword at his side, as it rarely leaves its simple wooden sheathe. As a long-time habit possibly picked up in whatever horde he was in before, he checks the sword hilt's location at regular intervals, as if to reassure himself that it is still there.

Vannon (Me)

Even in the prime of his adulthood, Kydo Vannon is a bit shorter than most foxes. His wiry and startlingly thin body is covered in a thick pelt of grey fur. The fur is mixed with shades of brown as well as a dark black stripe that runs the length of his back from head to flank. A brown line of fur highlights Vannon's otherwise light yellow under belly.

Traveling light the fox's garments resemble something akin to tribal garb. A lizard hide style of loin cloth, or perhaps a long sash wraps around the beasts scrawny hips, stretching down to his knees both in front and in back.

A thick iron dirk hangs loosely from the sash. It has a leather bound handle and a string of Celtic knots running down the center.

An old, dirty bandage has been wrapped tightly about the tip of Vannon's tail.